Last week Josh and I took the kids to a boring as anything decking warehouse in a ghetto part of town and it was past dinner time, so we thought we'd make it fun by taking them out to eat for a little family fun time. Why does that always sound like a fun idea and then not end up being quite so "fun?" Oh, because unless it's Sweet Tomatoes, kids and restaurants don't mix well. At least not ours and the restaurant.com coupons we always have.
We took them to a Mexican restaurant on Santana Row, which is pretty fancy. Josh always gets these phenomenal coupons for $.10-$.90 each for big deal coupons, so we just have a stash in the car and that's how we determine where we'll go. We were in San Jose, so we chose the Row one, how convenient! And how silly of us, unless we were going for burgers or ice cream, not a kid kind of place.
Here is what happened next:
-Three trips to the bathroom with City
-One trip to the bathroom to change Rhett on some paper towels I spread out on the small space between the sinks
-One trip to help Hazel
=me wiping three dirty bottoms and a total of 5 trips to the bathroom. Thank you Josh for taking care of yourself in this area.
More fun:
-Rhett is hysterical because he can't sleep and Josh is getting hysterical trying to calm him down.
-City couldn't sit still and apparently wasn't hungry, she just wanted to smear her body all over the floor, bench and look at the people over the other side of the booth.
-Hazel only likes plain, discernible foods, so all the dishes that arrived freaked her out.
-I'm trying to laugh it all off and keep everyone calm.
And then:
-Josh cuts off some chicken, starts it towards his mouth when I notice a foot long, black curly hair stretching between his bite and his plate. I stop him before he gets to enjoy that extra touch and wave down a waiter.
They felt really bad and offered to get us a new chicken or something else. I didn't really care, I was just telling them to let them know and honestly, nothing else really looked very good on their menu, esp for kids, so she suggested some sopas, "Is it fast?" I ask, "yes," sounds great, thank you...gotta take care of my wild, tired kids.
-I finish the chicken because Josh can't get past the hair, which is funny because I'm usually the hair freak. Since it cost $18 though, I was going to eat it even though we had a coupon.
-Sopas arrived, bleh mostly.
-Josh takes City out for a walk outside because she was doing something inappropriate, probably putting her feet on the table or something charming like that...
-Hazel needs to go #2 and it can't wait she says, so I take Rhett and Hazel the bathroom leaving an empty table with our food all over it. Tried to flag down a waiter to tell them we weren't ditching them, just another bathroom break.
-Boxes arrive as fast, I take some kids out and Josh trails me.
-Now I was getting hysterical, get me out of that place! None of us was ever even sitting and just eating, we were feeding, wiping, soothing, pacifying and nibbling here and there, but definitely not sitting down at a "sit down" restaurant.
The total bill? Before coupon and hair mishap, $60ish. After? $7. Yes, you read it, $7. Josh tipped $5, so we spent $12 on the whole thing. Which I'd probably say was still not worth it, but an entertaining memory nonetheless.
Q: How do you make eating out more enjoyable??
7 comments:
good thing you had a coupon!! i know the story and feel your pain!
it used to be like that for us. now if we go out, our kids are USUALLY pretty good - i think once they get older, they do better. there's always a spill or two and an occasional trip to the bathroom still.
sounds lame, but we like to go to IHOP because it's always low-key, not too crowded, no blaring music or weird neon lighting, etc... the kids LOVE to go out and call them "rest-ra-nauts". cora is the only one who creates a scene here and there if she's bored or totally exhausted. don't worry, it will be fun one day!
Afton, I LOVED reading this. This is pretty much exactly what happens when we take our kids out to a restaurant. Next time, why don't you and Josh go out and leave your kids with us? Some things are just better done without kids!
I'm not sure why, but our kids always do REALLY well at Indian and Thai restaurants. An Indian buffet is honestly my kids' idea of heaven (probably because they can eat all the naan and pineapple their little hearts desire). It seems like restaurants that offer a really wide selection like a buffet or one where you're ordering a whole bunch of different dishes and all sharing them makes it a lot easier to find something that everyone will be happy to eat that particular night.
When they are babies we have learned to do take out. When our kids are around 2 1/2 we can start creeping back inside restaurants, the louder the restaurant the better for us. We have also learned to order our meal with our drinks, the quicker the meal comes the better!
Sounds familiar. We stopped going out for a time because it was too ridiculous to try and manage the chaos. It does get better!
We can take the kids to Red Robin and Cheesecake Factory. They are both so loud no one else cares what's going on at our table. That is not a cheap family night. So we go maybe once or twice a year together. The thing I hate the most, and you're in the same boat, is the bathroom trips. Because I guess it isn't possible for them to all go at the same time, and the best time to go is usually right as you've taken your first bite. Then you get to eat luke-warm food when you get back. Can't take the girls into the men's room, and they don't usually have changing tables. The husband's just can't really help. I feel your pain.
We would love to watch the kids for you any time you and Josh want to go out and actually taste your food :-)
Hire a domestic house slave like Amy and Paul did.
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