Birth Story, Part 1

There are few things in my life that will compare to the births of my babies. They are monumental events that will outshine most others in significance throughout my life. From the time I was a kid I planned to be a mother, not that I was thinking of the pregnancy or birth at that age, thank goodness really. If I had any clue what was involved...shoot, it's still hard to sign up for the process. All those months of being sick, it's like I lose a year of my life in a way, but then I'm rewarded with a baby. The catch is that the baby has to get out of my body one way or another and no way is an easy way. And that's what this story is about, the outing of the baby.

It's hard to talk about this story, it was so unpleasant, so unlike how I'd envisioned it happening. Before I got married, my dad talked to Josh and me about some good marriage counsel. The best thing I can remember from the talk that's helped me a lot is the concept of "Expectation Violation." When we go into situations with certain expectations and those expectations are violated, we can feel really let down. In marriage the idea is to not have these expectations without your spouse being in on it or you can feel really let down, disappointed, frustrated, etc., with the other and the other might have no clue if they didn't know your original expectation.

I think you've got it.

I discovered that I had some expectations about how this birth would go and almost all of them were violated. That doesn't mean I'm blaming all sorts of people for violating them (just a few... :), it was just that I thought I'd covered alternative ways the birth might happen in my mind, coming to grips with those, and then ending up with a whole different scenario than anything I'd planned. It's been an emotional ride and even though it's all over and I have my perfect baby, I'm still quietly fighting battles over it and trying to move on.

Our Story

On Jan 20, his due date, I had a drs appointment. My doctor tried to set up an induction for the week after and when I said I'd rather not be induced then she gave me a long talking to about nothing good happening after 41 weeks. I told my doctor I thought some women had babies earlier and later than their "due date" and that was just how their bodies worked. She proceeded to tell me that was wrong and that nothing good happens after 41 weeks, blah blah blah, we'll set you up for an induction...It was hard, but I told her I'd rather wait the full two weeks after his due date. She was very reluctant, but what could she do.

Six days later I went in for my 41 week check up. I dreaded going in because I knew she'd pressure me again, and she did. She shared her disapproval of my decision to wait to be induced and said that I was "risking killing my baby" if I let him go too far overdue. Yeah, I'll be filling out a comment card on that. Side note: my mom's first 4 kids were a full two weeks overdue and my little sister was 4 weeks overdue (even though based on the original due date it was 6 weeks over). She made a drawn out speech about the risks of waiting again (I was 6 days over mind you, not a month) and how she'd need to check his fluid levels and if they were below 5 cm, they'd have to induce me right away and also check his placenta and some other things.

She seemed almost disappointed when I had 13 cm of fluid, perfect heartbeat and great looking placenta (even though they really look gross in real life of course:). She told me I'd have to be scheduled for 2 fetal monitoring sessions the next week and I said that was fine, not that she was asking.

Tina (my sister) and I went on 3 mile walks for the three days in a row after my doctor scared me into wanting to go into labor sooner than later so I wouldn't have to be induced. Thursday night, a week over, Tina babysat for us while we went to The Melting Pot and used a gift certificate we got from my other sister for Christmas. I'd been having a lot more contractions since our walk and they continued through dinner. Ahh, that was a good dinner too. Anyway, I had a feeling this was the beginning. I didn't think he'd come that night, but the next day was looking probable.

Wednesday night I was at a baby shower and was telling some friends that my little sister had been in town almost three weeks to help out and was leaving Friday morning at 12:50 (leaving the house at 11:30) and my mom, who was driving like a speed demon (I'm sure) all the way from Ohio, was arriving at 5:30pm that day and would stay to help for a while. I told them that I just knew that the baby would come in that window of time, it was a perfectly unlikely time that I had a feeling would be THE time.

And now I need to go to Target to get out of my house before it starts feeling like a prison, so this will be continued later!