Last night I was hanging out with some friends and found myself in a conversation that had me rolling with laughter. The topic? All things unladylike and how we partake in them.It was nice to know that I'm not the only one out there that sometimes acts in ways that people would think someone was talking about a frat house instead of my house. And Josh doesn't deserve an ounce of credit for contributing to this. Here all my life I thought that I'd marry a guy that would do all the disgusting things I did but 10x more so I'd look nice and refined, but then I marry a true gentleman who makes me sometimes think, is he human? Doesn't he ever have gas? Doesn't he need to burp? Spit?
Well, it seems that apparently there is occasion he is human--or so I'm told--but he has the decency to leave the room so as to not offend the other noses or ears of others. And that's the kind of guy who married me, who is probably on the other end of the spectrum with openness on this sort of thing. Oh poor poor man.
I've told him several times that I'm sorry he married me in that regard and I'm sorry to my mom who tried so hard to raise refined young ladies, but shoot, there are just so many reasons why a discreet life is hard to live in my own home! I've told Josh that it's not like I'm trying to offend him, it's just a part of life. At least mine. And a few other girls last night that cracked me up. There are some days I think I just might not see him if I followed his decency rules and a high fiber diet. Just sayin.
And it's not like I'm always disgusting, but I realize I'm starting to sound that way. The conversation brought up that there are women out there that actually hold back on these types of things from not only their husbands, but their kids too. So it made me wonder, what are other women like? What are you like? I dare you to say.And speaking of, my little sister just called and I can't resist grossing her out, so I try my best to do that. And not just in the above mentioned ways, I like to get creative. It just reminded me that sometimes I create situations instead of just try to avoid them, but I try to limit that to my little sister because she just begs for it. Hm, here's a thought, I'll just blame her for all of my unladylikeness. Darn you Tina. And Josh can blame you too. I love scapegoats.
Q: You know what I want to know. I dare you--tell me about your bodily function habits around your husband and kids or roommates and friends!
8 comments:
when my husband and i were dating, he'd hold it in all night and then usually make his noise after he opened my door and let me in the car and before he walked around to his side of the car. gentleman, right? he's still pretty good - unless he's trying to be funny. or trying to gross me out. i'm not very good at holding anything in, so if it has to come, it comes...but i'll always claim it. :/
ok, i totally grew up with a family where ANYTHING goes. gas, burps, the louder the better. everyone encouraged it and my parents just rolled their eyes and laughed. well, travis is a gentlemen just like josh, let me tell you - i've never heard him pass gas (MUCH to the surprise of my friends - oh yes, this conversation comes up all the time too...book clubs aren't just for books...). so, i guess travis has "civilized" me because i've done it around him. and when i hang out with my family, it grosses me out now! i DON"T want my kids to think it's funny, but it's automatic for me to just laugh when they toot, (again, part of my upbringing!), so being proper with my kids is out the window, even though they know to say "excuse me". oh this is such a funny conversation - i wish you could meet my friends, they are ALL like you, don't worry. :)
haha, i'm just like you. if i gotta do it, i'm gonna do it (at home). and my husband is the same, thank goodness. if he weren't i probably would care a little more. my kids think it's funny, because i usually can't help but chuckle when i hear them. the do say excuse me though. my sister on the other hand... she has a much more discreet husband, and so she's much more discreet... around him atleast. it's almost safe to say that i don't think he's ever heard her, and if he has, he can probably count them all on one hand.
some people are just so funny.
I have a male friend whose mother was so discreet that he grew up thinking that women did not poo, that it was only a male thing. He was a little surprised when he got married.
ha ha Kalin is talking about ME! ha ha Actually, my husband, Matt, isn't discreet. But I've NEVER tooted in front of him. I know he has to have heard me in my sleep because I hold it in all day...it's got to get out sometime. Okay, I do let them out when he's not home or he's in a way different part of the house where there's no chance he'll hear me and especially not smell me. And...I didn't poop on my honeymoon...a whole week...the food was all included in the resort so we ate lots of it. Think it's not possible...it is! ha ha I wish I wasn't SO embarassed about it. ha ha Maybe someday! Even he tells me it's ridiculous.
I can't believe that guy thought women didn't have to go. I remember reading something once on a bumper sticker or shirt or something that said something along the lines that super models aren't so different from us, they still go poo at the end of the day. I remember thinking, ew, that's true! Even the prettiest, most put together people gotta do that gross things. And Kelsey, weren't you totally sick by the end of your honeymoon???????? I remember all too clearly those situations and how totally awkward and embarrassing they were!
You mean you girls fart and poop? That's disgusting....I thought only guys did that :-)
We're generally pretty open at our house, though not uncouth or crass. I'd say "comfortable". In some ways I guess it's strange that we assign so much social baggage to things that are pretty darn natural and universal. In some cultures they just pass gas when they need to - no big show, no giggling, and also no apology...seems like that would be kind of liberating! I'm all for subtlety and good manners, but I'm not for stomach cramps :-)
I love your thoughts:). I'm for subtlety and good manners with Josh around when I can help it, but like you, I'm not for stomach cramps--but mostly because I don't think my body would even allow that sort of discipline!
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