Bad Daughter, Will Redeem Myself

It's Mother's Day, and I love my mom dearly, but I didn't show her in any way besides calling her. And of course, babbling on the whole time before we both had to go instead of telling her all the reasons I loved and appreciated her.

The past couple of weeks have been busy, esp this last one. First it was Josh's birthday and then he was leaving on a big trip and was working non-stop and then with him gone it's been even busier. I've had something nearly every day to plan even if small from Music Makers to preschool to sharing time and of course, meals and outings and a babysitter for the girls. It was just busy.

I kept thinking of Mother's Day and couldn't think of anything my mom would want, it's like that for any gift holiday with her, she's so selfless and not into material things that I find it incredibly hard to get something she'll love. But here's the thing, she'd ooh and ahh over anything I would get her, even if just a pack of gum, she'd make a big deal of it, so I should've just sent something, I know. A couple of years ago I went all out and did a big scrapbook for her, my first one ever, and got notes and pics from my sisters and went through all our archives to get pics. It took FOREVER, but she loved it and I was so glad I did it.

I felt like that was it, my one good idea. I don't know what else to do, so I'm just going to use an idea I found in Real Simple last year just to do something. I'm going to redeem myself as a daughter this week, she won't care if it's belated, she was sweet as usual reassuring me she didn't even think about or expect anything and to not worry about it on the phone--but I think she should expect something, she has 6 daughters who she did a whole whole whole lot for--including being a full time mother to us all still, and she should expect something sincere and thoughtful from each of us, every year.

SOOO.

With Josh gone it hasn't been much of a Mother's Day. I stayed up late last night planning sharing time and was tired as usual this morning. I almost had two different dinner plans and they both fell through last minute. We stayed up late and it seems that there is still just as much work to do as when Josh is here, how does it get so messy and so much to do? I just finished doing the dishes and putting the essentials away, so I'm going to do myself a favor, since it's Mother's Day, and get to bed before 11.

But first, I have to say today wasn't a downer as it may sound. I mean it had it's moments, sure. I had a good cry last night when things fell apart, for the hundreth time, so I wasn't ready to cry again or anything. It's not that it's Mother's Day even, Sunday's alone are just hard, but we've all been feeling the effects of not having Josh around and the girls just seem plain tired of me and each other.

And now the good part. I felt moments during the day that my many prayers and Josh's prayers totally lifted me, I literally felt my burdens to be gone at times and things were not just okay, stable or good, they were great and fun and we laughed. Sharing time turned out great, I think, I got to see Hazel sing in front of church for the first time, and then City too when they sang the prelude for the Spanish branch (she really just wandered behind the big kids, but still a proud moment and she said her favorite part of the day).

Hazel told me endlessly how much she loved me and wanted me to have a good Mother's Day and the girl is 3. She's so sensitive, I love it (most of the time). We had a blast during dinner, we had french toast with as many strawberries as they wanted (we have 4 pounds), coconut and regular syrup and whipped cream--we were all in heaven. I took them to a pretty place and took pics of them with fairy wings on.

And I'm grateful I'm not Josh. Poor me isn't exactly how it is today, Josh billed and 80 hour week last week and had to work his first Sunday ever today, and it's been alllll day. He's in Ohio and he's still working and won't go to bed before 2:30am and has to get up 4 hours later for an intense day in court. He would have much rather been here and spoiled me rotten than doing what he's doing today.

Another reason I'm the mom and get to stay home with my kids. I adore them and love them and want to hold, squeeze and squish their cute little squishies all day long and laugh laugh laugh with them.

I'll add pics tomorrow.

Q: What did you do for your mom? Any great ideas?