Something I've thought a lot about is this:
Mr. and Mrs. Parker
or
Mr. Josh and Miss Afton
or
Josh and Afton
After Hazel started to recognize people and attach names to them we went through a decision process of how we wanted her to address adults. We were always supposed to say Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so or Brother and Sister (church fyi) so-and-so as was the case with my friends.
But it seems like times, or just manners, have changed.
Now it seems like kids call adults by their first names all the time, so moving to TX I found something that I liked that seemed to make sense for little kids: Mr. Josh and Miss Afton.
A lot of people do that here (do they do it elsewhere as well?) and we decided (really, we've had discussions on this) that it would make sense to a little child who always heard us call the parent by the first name but to add a respectful title to it. I thought it would be too confusing to say Mr. Parker when I say Josh (okay, not like they'd call him Mr. Parker, you get the idea though).
Then I saw on the Today Show yesterday a survey about parents teaching their kids manners and how there is a new trend to teach children better manners and a higher level of respect for adults, including using Mr. and Mrs. Parker (or other last name if your not so lucky :). They didn't touch on my alternate way though. They did mention how some adults feel awkward or a lack of respect when called by their first name but how it's difficult to correct them with Mr...
Q: What do you have your kids call adults?
Q: Do you think it's too confusing for little kids to use only Mr. Lastname instead of Mr. First?
Q: Do you care if a kid (2-17 years) calls you by your first name?
Q: What do you prefer to be called by kids?
9 comments:
Just found your blog Afton, looks like you guys are doing well! I have to say, I'm very curious how people respond to this. It's a cunundrum I have oft wondered about. My daughter is still tiny, so I have a while to decide, but I'm all about manners, so I'm very interested
I don't like being called sister or mrs. I like being called Arlynda, by everyone. I usually ask the adult what they want my kids to call them, then follow through and if someone really wants their kids to call me by sister or mrs., then so be it, I respect the idea behind it, but I like my name, it's who I am. (I do, however make my kids call me mom or mommy or mama because that is our relationship.)
I have my kids call my close friends auntie or uncle and their first name. Others I have them call Miss Firstname. People at church I am not as close with I have them call Bro & Sis Lastname. I don't care what kids call me, first name or last name. I think I am usually called "Lexi's mom" (and Lexi calls her friends parents by the same way). I know as they get older I need to distinguish more. I agree with wanting kids to be more respectful to adults, but I just hate being called Mrs. Peterson! Makes me feel old. I had a babysitter always call me Sister Peterson and it sounded so formal to me especially by someone I felt I knew well.
Maybe it's from Scott's stint in TX and LA, but we usually encourage our kids to call adults Miss Afton or Mr. Josh. I try to remember to ask adults what they want to be called, but usually they say that they don't care.
I love your alternative. It's my favorite. It'll be awhile before I have to worry about that, but I've thought the same thing - "how do I teach him to say "Sister Smith" or "Mr. Smith" when I say "Jen" or "Michael" (not to mention that something like "Mr. Peterson" is a little too long for him to understand anyway!
Love the idea!
Of course being born and raised in Texas-both Drew and I feel very strongly on this topic....
I definitely think saying Miss Afton/Mr. Josh or church leaders, calling Brother/Sister, with this I also think it is very important to make our kids say YES MAM and NO MAM. YES SIR and NO SIR. Of course the mam and sir is a Southern thing, so you might have a challange in California :)
I think the decision is whatever works best for your family! Good luck........
I was very surprised when Hazel said "Thank you miss Dara" after I handed her some goldfish snacks. I grew up in Cali, where we just called a friend's mom & dad, "Mr. or Mrs". When we moved to Texas, addressing someone "miss so and so" was very new to me. It's nice that my kids are learning this though. I always felt uncomfortable calling someone or having someone call me "sister" outside of church. I'm okay with that if they can't remember my name.
That was VERY sweet of Hazel!! You've taught her well.
I've tried a little of everything. I teach mine to say Mr.Mrs./Bro.Sis. because that's how I grew up, but close friends I have my kids say auntie, probably because I don't have sisters, and they're the type who have been sisters to me. I don't mind being Mrs. or Sister Mason because I feel like I've earned it!
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