This may be wordy since I have to talk things out to cover what I'm really trying to say, skim!
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First, I still don't see anything more important than abortion being the most important decision for my political choices although interesting points were made about McCain's stances. I haven't ever really liked McCain or been fully behind him on a lot of things, I just more agreed with him than Obama.
I'm curious the details about McCain and birth control. So you're saying he is against birth control? I thought it was just about altering the fetus after it was conceived, not prevention...? And I'll have to look into his views on the baby getting priority over the mom if the mom's life is at risk, are you sure he's said that the baby would come first? I have a hard time believing that would be passed by anyone into law even if he somehow wanted it to be, but I didn't think he did...?
I don't know the stats on abstinence ed, but I taught it for a while in high school and I just felt like when they talked about birth control, they were too explicit and the kids were too young--even though some were already having sex at that age. They were the minority and it didn't seem right to expose the rest of them to graphic material.
I think they place for that is the home more than the school. I know some kids won't get it at home, shoot, my own little sister somehow missed "the talk" because my mom (very apologetically) says she must have assumed she gave it since she already did 5 other times.
Knowing how different kids are, I think some would be negatively affected by it in various ways.
You may say well of course, but look at the good it would do others. I'm not sure of the real good it would do others. I don't mean to sound fanatical, but just imagine this (and I'm not saying I think this should be the enacted or anything, just think about it): what if nobody unmarried or under 18 years old could get birth control and only abstinence and good old fashioned morals were taught (wouldn't even have to be religious).
I'm sure there was a time in recent history that this was the case. But don't you think teens would be a heck of a lot more careful when it came to whether or not to...uh hem...? Maybe not, just seems like that would happen to me. Of course if abortion were illegal that would really help things to if a girl did get pregnant (even if there were ways around it, it would sure cut down the quantity of them).
I was just talking to my mom last week about how this kid in high school (9th or 10th grade--14/15yrs) came to school after Christmas bragging about how his parent gave him and his older brother (also in high school)condoms for Christmas because they knew they'd have sex anyway and wanted them to be prepared. I was so appalled, it was like the biggest green light he could have had (not to mention how perverse a choice of holidays to do it on).
If schools or other programs gave it out to teens, I think sex amongst them would go way up. Who knows, there might be less unplanned pregnancies, but to put it bluntly, where's the responsibility in that?
I'm sure that sounds a little callous, but it just seems to strip responsibility from us by making our choices not have consequences. I've thought about it before and wondered if there wasn't birth control available for under 18 (or abortion, but that as a secondary point), I think teens would be more careful in the first place.
Again, I totally agree on educating pregnant teens or unwed mothers on adoption as much as possible and I would also push for clear explanations of what really happens in an abortion to both the mom and the baby as soon as the pregnant mom considers it an option.
I guess after all this rambling more than anything I think it should be left up to the parents. I know there are a lot of absent parents out there, but I think overall that would be a better option.
7 comments:
You're right--ideally abstinence-only sex ed. would prevent undue exposure and "greenlighting" to young kids. But studies have shown, time and time again, that the only thing abstinence-only education does is to incur a higher rate of teen pregnancy, because kids have no idea about protection. I agree that it would be lovely if this were something taught in the home, but I think you have to remember that we're in the minority of people who believe in abstinence before marriage. Most people had pre-marital sex, and they assume their children will do the same thing.
Frankly, I think we need to give as much education and supply preventative measures to avoid teen pregnancy. I don't condone or approve of pre-marital sex, but I would think it advisable to do everything possible to prevent a fourteen-year-old from being in a situation where they're considering abortion.
In an ideal world all parents would teach their children that they should abstain from sex before marriage, but as we all know this is not an ideal world. Most people do not think premarital sex is that big of a deal. Sad but true. So many of our worlds problems would be less or disappear is people lived the law of chastity, but they don't. So in the world we live, we need to teach young people about protection, birth control, stds, etc. I don't know that I agree with schools passing out condoms, but kids should know where they can get contraception. And I think it would be great if the pill were government provided or something. And as I said before, there should be education about abortion (as in what happens, emotional consequences, etc.) and adoption.
There's just too much to say for a comment but I have to say this because it is what totally frightens me about teenagers (I taught high school for 6 years before Zane). There are SO MANY absent parents, it is just frightening. And many of the ones who are not completely absent want to be their kid's FRIEND because they spent zero time with them when they are little and now are trying to buy and/or bribe their kids for their love and treat them like pals instead of giving them some tough love and discipline. Even more frightening is that the majority of kids have NO CONCEPT of consequence. They don't "get" the concept of "I don't do work, I don't pass", etc. They think: "I'll complain and they will let me do what I want." Which, sadly, is usually true to some extent. I've had parents go all the way to the superintendent to change something they did not like about my class. Kids have Zero responsibility for their actions. (Not all--there are some fantastic kids out there, I know!!!) How on earth is the public education system going to teach them morals and consequences about LIFE when they cannot even grasp "don't turn in homework = get a zero = no pass = no play Friday night"???? And don't even get me started on what these kids watch on tv and movies. And the parents who LET their kids spend the night over at their boyfriend/girlfriend's houses. AAAAAH!!! I've just seen and heard too much!!! Parents parents parents. They are the only key to this!!!!! Sorry so long and rambling!!!
I think we actually grew up in a "strange" by others definition High School and place. I think abstinence only Ed is good when it works, but I want them to know there are other options available. I work with Big Brothers Big Sisters and my Little is being exposed to things I would never have dreamed of in high school. She's 16 with three friends pregnant and trying to decide were she stands on these things. While I'm telling her its best to wait I also told her if she needed/wanted other options we would find them. I would prefer her avoiding it entirely, but since I know this is generally not the option I don't even want to think about the abortion side of things. Strangely enough the comment that has stuck with her the most was "Can you imagine me with a 10yr old?" Apparently my having a child of my own is terrifying to her because it seems to have squelched the desire if there was one for a child right now.
As a teenager, the reasoning center of your brain is not fully developed, but your hormones are. Not having birth control available may deter some, but I don't think the numbers are would be that high given the amount of attention sex gets in our culture. There were still plenty of unwanted pregnancies before birth control. And from personal experience, even birth control isn't 100%.
Personally, I think learning about sex has nothing to do with giving kids the green light to go out and have sex. It has to do with learning skills that will navigate you through life. Teenagers need to know about birth control because it exists, not because it is a way to take the consequences away from engaging in sexual behavior. The need to know about STD's because they exist not because it should scare them into not having sex. They need to be given the information to help them navigate their lives. I think time needs to be spent helping people develop skills to avoid unwanted sexual behaviors in others, what to do if you are raped, how to set your own personal boundaries and skills to help you stick to them. None of these has to include any talk about religion, its all just life skills. They also need to be guided through discussions about the consequences of sexual behavior, not to scare them, but to inform them so that they don't make choices in ignorance. Knowledge of these things is valuable even if you are not planning on having premarital sex.
I also think that they should be taught respect for their bodies and how to navigate sexual relationships, whether those be marriage or not.
I agree that something should be taught, I was just saying I think it should be primarily taught in the home and to just give the basics in school, and not to 12 year olds. I think they should know the anatomy and how sex actually works, but not all the details about birth controls and STDS. It would probably still be a good idea to briefly mention those things, but not a lot of details. Ideally kids would have parents on board for q's, but if not, guidance counselors should be there for info.
I still imagine what it would be like if birth control weren't allowed to teens, but I'm not proposing it, just an interesting hypothetical. I think parents should be aware if their kids are on birth control though so I don't like the idea of the school handing it out.
Man. Such a complicated situation. I know its not logical for others not to consider anything but abstinence, but I think that's the right way. I think the argument could go in a thousand different directions-a lot of the world drinks, and they'll drink before 21 anyway, but does that mean we should address safe drinking practices in high schools? I don't know, its definitely tough, but should we just continue to lower the standard? I think as time goes on there will just be more of a divide on ways to address moral issues in schools. I should do some research and see if any church leaders have spoken about it.
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