Have you seen the "What Would You Do?" show? It's got to be one of my favorites and I always think, "Oh, I'd totally do xyz/tell/ask them..." But would I?
I had this question racing through my mind the other night as I went to Kroger to pick up some milk with Hazel. It was about 8:20 when I left (sorry Hazel), still light out, but not a lot of people shopping so there were plenty of parking spaces. As I was unloading my cart, I noticed a man in a ginormous truck (it was like 150% bigger than a regular Chevy) stopping in front of the spot, get out, move a cart out of the way, and get back in. I couldn't figure out what he was doing, he couldn't possibly be going through that trouble to take the pregnant lady spot when there are open ones a few spots away. But he was, and he backed that thing up right into it.
I stared and half smiled at him to be sure he knew someone was watching--but really, that wasn't going to do anything and I couldn't really feel like I did my civic duty by a "knowing look."
I probably shouldn't let my heart race over something like this, but I feel bound to do things about stuff that bothers me--like calling 911 if I see a swerving driver or when I saw an oven in the middle of the road (my mom taught me how to call 911 and just tell them immediately that it's not an emergency but...). Anyway, so I decide to write him a little note that went something like this:
"Hi Sir,
I didn't want to say anything because you looked like a nice man, but having been pregnant twice before, I felt like I should. The store reserves spots for women in need to be as close to the store as possible and having been there, I know how nice this is. Please be more considerate of women in the future.
Thanks, A been-there mom."
The first time I was pregnant I sort of thought pregnant women shouldn't get quite the deluxe treatment we were offered. My real trouble was when I had morning sickness and people couldn't see that, so just having a big belly didn't seem to warrant special care. I tried to walk 3-4 miles a day (if my bladder would make it, sometimes we'd have to stop at the church which is half way). What's the big deal walking a little farther?
Until baby #2. When I was pregnant, I was a regular at Kroger because they have a few designated "Expecting Mommy" spots that were great when I had to lug a non walking to walking but not easy to reign in baby/toddler to the store with my queasiness and expanding belly and shrinking bladder. It was all harder with baby #2, because of worrying about lugging around toddler #1 and being just plain exhausted. I'm now an advocate of that special treatment, at least for moms with additional kids. Side note: I remember so many people offering me their seat on a very crowded rush-hour subway bus but I graciously declined most of the time because I'd been sitting all day, but still, the gestures are always nice.
I found several opinions on the web about this, mostly anti-sign and treatment. Here is one of my favorites http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=329, esp comment #4.
So, tell me this:
Question #1: Would you have said or done anything, if so, what?
Question #2: Do you think pregnant women deserve extra special treatment?
Question #3: Is there a group that deserves special treatment that doesn't?
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I'm a huge fan of blogs now! I have wanted to ask more people from all over what they think about things, so this is fun! I appreciate the comments and different perspectives. I want to be clear first that I think exercise is good for most pregnant women, but it's the activity that is involved here. Pushing around a large cart of stuff is just annoying when you have a big belly and low energy, so it was more just a great courtesy that I appreciated when I felt like I was going to burst. And like I said, it meant a lot more when I had a toddler to carry around as well, now I just try to find a spot next to a cart so I can plop them in there before Hazel runs away.
9 comments:
What an awesome post-I can't wait to share this!! So many thoughts. Oh. So many. First-the PERFECT segway into a post I've been formulating in my head for months and a perfect way to introduce your blog. Second-was it Babies R Us-b/c I haven't seen this treatment at any other store. Third-I think I would say something to the guy with a smile and seriousness at the same time-for sure. (I was waiting for a heart warming ending with a chivalrous note...but no...) Fourth-when I first saw the preggy signs at Babies R Us, I thought this was one more commercialized marketing ploy for that store. I thought it was absurd. And then as I kept returning during my pregnancy and early months of Ellie's life-I felt like a queen. They earned my respect when I was pregnant and I'll forever love them for that treatment. I felt so honored! I LOVE that idea. Now-at general stores-its a nice idea-a REALLY really nice idea. But I can't imagine the general public respecting it. Though I do think pregnant women carry extra rights (and weight) to be able to have some nice perks. And lastly, I've never seen that show? Sounds great.
I don't know what i think about the whole pregnant parking - I see two points the one you made about trying to totter along with a little one in tow - and the stresses that entails - but i also think it is important to stay as active as you can while pregnant - so i think the walking is good for the woman – but see how nice it would be to be sure about finding a parking spot. Do I think I would say something - probably not - mainly because i would probably be late to something and to be quite honest i probably wouldn't have noticed. Also - i have had some notes written on my car (literally) b/c i made someone mad with my parking (it was an outrageous reaction to a bad parking job)- so i am not a fan of notes on cars from strangers – but that is just me ;).
I have never thought about this actually. The only place I've seen here with the special parking is at babies r us and the funny thing about that is the reserved spots weren't even the closest ones. I say pregnant women deserve a few perks, but so do mothers with small children whether they are pregnant or not.
Hi! I am a friend of Autumns and I enjoy your new blog! I have a few thoughts, but over all not sure what I think. First of all, the man had no right to park there- that was pretty dumb of him- can't he read? Is he really that selfish? So, good for you for writing the note- not sure I would have- I would have wanted to, but wouldn't have been gutsy enough, so I probably would have just given the "look." Good for you for doing it! Though, I am not sure how necessary special parking is. It makes sense at Babies R us, but at Kroger? If a woman has to walk all around the store to get groceries, what is a few extra steps in the parking lot? Then, if pregnant women get special treatment, what about others- like me with twins who are 18 mos old and impossible to control in parking lots. Or other people as well. "Old people" parking, etc. I agree with handicap parking, but not sure about special parking otherwise. But, despite that- the sign said expecting mommies only, which he clearly is not- how annoying- good for you! :)
Hi, (do you remember me?)
What a great post! For one, I do not have any children, but I think having a few spots for expectant Mothers is a great idea and I think it is a nice gesture. I would not have left a note for that guy, but I would have wondered what he was thinking?!?! I really believe some people are just inconsiderate-this goes a long with people who are not handicapped parking in a handicap spot.
So, good for you for leaving the note and maybe next time he will think twice about where he parks...
Well, I can say that for me, having the special designated parking wasn't important. I don't think I would have said anything to the guy - it was at night, not many people out, and plenty of parking. I would have just decided that the effort he put into being so close to the store would land him in my "idiot" category. I've always had mixed feelings about the handicapped spaces too. I've never had to use one, but I think that for people with a wheelchair parking out in the lot shouldn't be that big of a deal - they aren't walking! But for the elderly and otherwise infirm, yes, the closest spot is important.
Hmm. I love the close parking, but mostly because I hate shuttling my children across a parking lot full of crazy cars. At the grocery store, I don't really care, but at, say, IKEA--I really love the family parking.
I probably wouldn't have said anything. But I might have left a note. Considering the fact that I yell at people with their windows down who are driving crazily while talking on their cell phones, yes, I suppose I probably would have done something.
AFTON!!! HOW the heck do you know my cousin Mackenzie Brasher??! That's sooo cool! We are related on my Dad's side. Her Mom and My Dad are cousins. Small world. Ok, maybe you know Doug instead but still...cool!
That's nuts! We were in the same ward in NYC while JOsh and Doug went to law school together. That's awesome!!
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