My Horse Bit My Face

1 Day Picaboo coupon

2012-01-26T20:24:00.000-08:00

I've used Picaboo for a few photo books and I really like that you can customize them any which way. I think they have way too many options for picture backgrounds, and not enough of the styles I would like (or at least can find), but they always have great sales, the best customer service and pretty decent books.

They are having a ONE DAY sale that ends in 13 hours, so if you're interested in making a photo book, they are selling a $100 gift card for $30, you can buy three. I just made the worlds largest photo book and when it rang up, it was $160, and I was hoping to eventually get one for each kid by waiting for coupon deals, so I just bought three coupons to go towards them.

Enjoy!

BYU Divine Comedy "I'm Good"

2012-01-14T20:04:00.001-08:00

Burts Bees Deal

2012-01-08T15:12:00.000-08:00

Any Burts Bees fans out there? You might be interested in this $20 grab bag, regularly $50. You do have to pay $5 shipping, so that stinks, but still looks like a good deal. This pic is lasts years I think, so you don't know what you'll get, but fun huh? I hear they sell out.

http://www.burtsbees.com/other/gift-sets-kits/grab-bag.html?cm_mmc=CJ-_-3399648-_-3529301-_-Burt%27s+Bees+Home+Page

$5 presents

2011-12-18T16:02:00.001-08:00

I've been doing all but writing on my blog, which I miss, but now isn't the time for me to be writing much on it either, so I am copying and pasting a great post form someone else. My family has been talking recently about gift exchanges and how to make Christmas more meaningful. We switch it up every year, but one of my favorite years was when we did a $5 gift for our person or family we were giving too. It was a fun challenge and there were some cute things passed around. I was buying for my sister and bought her collapsible measuring spoons that shipped free from amazon. Nothing remarkable, but fun and hopefully useful.

This year we recently decided to scrap the gift exchange and get presents for someone who's Christmas might be more meager. We tossed the idea around of still doing $1 store presents or something else cheap but thoughtful. My little sister had a cute idea of sending our person Top Five lists of our Top Fives, like out top five favorite songs, top five fav blogs, top five recipes, top five books, etc. I thought that was a great idea, free and thoughtful and keeps us connected. In the spirit of cheap, fun gifts, I found this blog full of cute cheap ideas that kids would love.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas that doesn't blow the bank!

http://www.hereinthelovelywoods.com/2011/12/best-toys-5-can-buy.html

In her honor, I'd like to continue the GeekDad list (Stick, Box, String, Cardboard Tube, Dirt) with a few of our own kid-tested, mother-approved favorites.

1. Straws. You've heard of Tinker Toys? Granted, those will last longer, but give a child a 99-cent box of drinking straws and you might be surprised at the creations that will result.

2. Bubble Wrap. I personally know of at least two adults who tied a ribbon around a roll of bubble wrap and gave it to a child for Christmas, only to find that all other presents paled in comparison. Want to win the Cool Relative Award? Snap, crackle, pop.

3. Hammer. Nails. Wood. A friend of mine once gave her oldest son a pile of scrap lumber and some tools for Christmas. That's terrific ... but how about this? My neighbor, Emily, stopped by one day to dump a tree stump on our doorstep. "That's for your kids!" she called cheerfully as she drove away. Sure enough, they pounded nails into that thing until they had chain mail. Thanks Emily!

4. Duct Tape. Ian likes to remind me that it's just like The Force: It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds everything together. I can't begin to describe the number of things that have been manufactured at our house with this substance. Bonus: It now comes in fluorescent colors and funky patterns. Check your local craft store.

5. Aluminum Foil. Caroline has made probably hundreds of things from this, from origami objects to multiple pairs of shoes. We usually give her a roll for long car trips, and we've had certain houseguests bring her a roll when they come to stay. Isn't it endearing to have adults in your life who understand how your child ticks?

6. Fire. As in, matches and candles. Blah blah blah parental supervision blah blah blah responsible oversight blah blah blah. Don't send the authorities after me. But seriously, friends. Do you know how long my two girls can sit at a table melting candle wax, watching the shape of candles and flames change before their eyes, sculpting creations from wax, making fake sealing wax for fake letters, etc.? Answer: a very long time. In fact, I had seven girls at this house just yesterday doing this for a solid hour.

What do you think about hair color?

2011-11-27T12:25:00.001-08:00

What do you think about dying your hair a non-traditional color?

Which picture would you buy?

2011-11-17T11:05:00.000-08:00

For years I've wanted to buy a picture of the Savior, but haven't found one I just love, and they're sorta expensive, so we've never done it. I really want to get one and get it hung before Thanksgiving, so I've just decided to get one anyway since I'm not sure there are any out there that I love artistically. These are my top three choices:

1. This is just a classic great picture of the the Savior. I also like the red color vs the more muted ones in the next pic.

2. I like the story of the lost sheep and having that on the wall as a reminder to help those in need.

3. Mary and Martha with Jesus. This is probably my favorite one, but I can only get it in a small size or big, no middle ground. I think I'll probably end up getting it because this story is so important to remember as a mother and having it right there as a constant reminder would be helpful. Oddly, I could only get a small and big pic, but no middle ground :). So here you get both.

Q: Do you have any pictures of Christ that you love? If so, tell me who it's by! Thanks!

Day 15 and 16, local festivities and early to bed

2011-11-16T22:23:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for local festivities like a totally fun tree lighting party at a mall near us with all sorts of fun things like hot chocolate, cookies, ice cream, candy, cds--and all free!

Today I'm thankful for kids that asked to go to bed early. WHA? We're talking one asleep on the couch at 5:15 and the other asking to go then. We had to cancel our dinner plans with friends so I could get them down.

Day 14, Thankful for down time

2011-11-14T23:13:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day in a long time that I felt like I just had down time with my kids. Josh was gone the past two weeks and so I filled my schedule with all sorts of things, some purposely and some just had to. I felt like I had no time to myself and no time with just my kids. I was sad when I looked back on it because even though the kids had tons of fun playing with lots of friends and I got to do some things that I needed/wanted to do (like volunteer at Hazel's school), I was just bummed I didn't get more time with my kids, because I'm a stay at home mom so I can "stay at home with my kids." Unfortunately that doesn't happen enough.

Side note: I remember when we were doing our house renovations and our contractor just assumed I'd be home all the time because I was a "stay at home mom." It wasn't until then that I realized how mis-guided that term is, just like "morning sickness." I was hardly ever home it seemed.

Today though, I made sure to not have errands or extra stuff and we just read and did craft projects and played together and it was so rejuvenating for all of us.

Day 13, Thankful for baby sign language

2011-11-14T23:01:00.000-08:00

Just this week we've been teaching Rhett a few signs (baby sign language). We started way earlier with the girls so I feel bad we haven't done it sooner for him and us, but the upside is that he's picked up on it super fast because he's older. I've been teaching him "Night night" and "Milk" and "Eat" and sometimes we do "More." Yesterday at church was when it really took off and he was alternating between "milk" (pumping his hang) and "night night." Only problem was that I couldn't do either for him right then :(. Here is a video of him before his nap (he'd missed his first one because we were at church so he was pretty wasted.)

AWESOME race video

2011-11-14T17:08:00.000-08:00

Few things really move me to tears any more. But I couldn't help but get choked up when I saw this. I know that my girls really wouldn't get the power of this, but I was so into this I wanted someone to see it too so I had them watch it with me again. Hazel wants to watch it again!

Be inspired!

Decorating question for you all...

2011-11-14T11:52:00.000-08:00

Hey non-crazy eyes out there, I need your help. My brain keeps going back and forth on something and I can't decide, so I'm tossing it out there to the masses for your expert advice. This will be Rhett's room. I plan to put 2ft x 2ft circles up on that wall behind his crib (a grid of 12). I originally thought I'd just use white for a clean modern look, but since it's a kids room, I don't want it to be drab and stark either, so then I thought all yellow. But when I put up my sample yellow on the wall, it looks a little too bright for covering a whole wall space (you can see the yellow stickers in the pic, they look kinda orange here). So now I'm considering these options:

1. All white circles--clean a modern, too bland and boring for kids room though?

2. All yellow circles--they're a bit punchy and bright, so not sure if they will overwhelm the room, but it is a kids room...

3. All pastel orange circles--fun, very little down side except that our main living spaces are a light turquoise and orange so I don't want to have the same all over

4. A variety of colors--pro, lots of fun, not boring, cons, not sure how they'll all combine together

His bedding will be brown and white (in front of crib in pic).

What should I do? Need to order asap.

Day 12, Thankful for cool weather

2011-11-12T23:36:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for cool weather.

I love how it makes me want to get warm and cozy and bake yummy things. We worked in the yard for most of the day again and it was so nice to be out in the crisp air and not dripping sweat. The kids rode bikes around us in their jackets with pink cheeks. It was so refreshing. I loved the grey sky too. Hazel said, "It's like it's still morning because they sky is grey." I thought that was cute. I love this weather for a weekend day when Josh is home and we can hang out as a family. Not my favorite when I'm alone and waiting for Josh to come home, but when we're working together and then relaxing, ahh, it's perfect.

Day 10 and 11--Class visits and Veterans

2011-11-12T00:03:00.001-08:00

I'm a day behind, but yesterday I got to go to Hazel's class and read to them for reading week. It was so fun and I loved getting to go into her classroom and interact with the kids. I volunteer there every other week, but don't have any interaction so this was a real treat :). I LOVED it! And I adore that girl.

Today I'm thankful for Veterans. I'm thankful that there are people so selfless that they'd take on a high stress job to protect others, most of whom they don't know. Then there are so many who come back scarred and have to learn how to re-enter regular life and deal with so much baggage and often difficulty finding a job that they sometimes suffer for a long time. I'm so thankful for what they gave so we can be free.

Day 9, Thankful for the gym

2011-11-09T21:59:00.000-08:00

Day 9, today I'm thankful for the gym. Do you like the pic of my class? It's pretty big.

Every time I go, I feel awesome afterwards, my City is happy because she got to play with her friends, Rhett is tired and very sad, but then takes a great nap once home. I get an excellent work out in thanks to the classes. I go get my tail whipped and somehow say, yes please, can I come get whipped again next week? Sounds like a drug to me.

Today I was talking during cycling so the teacher came and cranked up my tension. Ow. Oh, and that's not my class, that's some other class setting a world record for having the most in it (354), no joke. I know, how can you trust me any more? Funny fact is that it's set by the "Dairy Farmers of Canada." How random is that?

Day 8, Thankful for Voting

2011-11-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm thankful for voting. Josh was gone, so I took the kids for a walk down to Hazel's school and voted. It was so fun to get out for a cool, evening walk and it was exciting for them to get to go to her school. We were the only ones there, they said it had been slow. I was bummed about that until they said about 70% of people vote by mail (which my balet was, just brought it so my kids could be a part of it). I hope most people vote. I think it's a wonderful privilege that we are blessed to have and I'm thankful for it.

As we left the house to go they were pretty pumped and said what a fun night we were having and how we get to do so many fun things--we walked to a pizza place nearby afterwards because Hazel went on a fieldtrip there and said they were doing a fun family night thing. How could I resist her. It was a fun night.

Oh, and I should mention Rhett's paci. He only takes this particular kind, which you can't find anywhere it seems. I bought a two pack on amazon once and it was like $4, but it said "colors may vary." I took my chances though because to buy two blue ones it was almost $8!! I got one pink and one blue that time. Somehow we lost a bunch, so I bought more, same deal on cost--all pink this time. Grrreat. Josh told me there was no way he was using it. But in the middle of the night I was trying to find his other one and remembered the new pack of pink so please, no thinking twice there. Then tonight I couldn't find his blue either. And that's that in case you wondered, blame my cheapness or my gambling problem :).

Q: Did you vote? :)

Day 7, Thankful for the library and friends

2011-11-07T21:40:00.001-08:00

Day 7, I'm thankful for the library and friends. I went to the library tonight and fell in love as I usually do with the whole set up. I love how it makes me want to spend my whole life reading when I walk in, or not, because I know I can't! But I love that even though there was grumbling from my daughter about going beforehand how she wanted more and more books and didn't want to leave. I love books.

I also love my friends. Both our men weren't home for dinner, so we got together and hung out at my place, then went to hers and had hot dogs with the kids. City had an accident on the couch, my friend gave me new pants for her (and to keep!), Rhett took care of business with all of his funny faces during dinner, one kid pulled down his pants in our back yard because he thought he had to go to the bathroom... Some people ask what I do all day as a stay at home mom, I feel like telling them I do a lot of wiping and refereeing. :) We had a great night and I'm thankful for my blessings.

Day 6, Thankful for church

2011-11-06T21:08:00.001-08:00

Day 6, I'm thankful for church. Granted, during Sacrament Meeting (where the whole congregation is together) and my little kids were all over the place and my cute $4 thrift store wool skirt I thought was too good to be true really was because it was itching the crazies out of me and I was thinking, okay, I'd rather this be over now...

But then Josh and I shifted the kids around and we heard some really great testimonies from others (the first Sunday of the month is called "fast and testimony meeting" where we all fast for a day and people go up and share their testimonies). It's always humbling to hear what others are going through. My blessings become more pronounced to me and I am thankful for the strength of others. I love that we're all so different, but we have the same goal--we're all going to church to worship our Heavenly Father and to try to become like Him, it's so unifying.

Then I got to teach the kids in primary again about being reverent and had the kids act out different scenarios and it was so fun. I love those kids.

Thankful for yard work

2011-11-05T21:58:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful for yard work.

Josh and I worked in the yard for about 6 hours and while tiring, it was so satisfying. Okay, 6 hours, "so tiring?" Sounds lame, but we were shoveling dirt and rocks and breaking up roots the whole time, not just pulling weeds or something. We started by jogging to Home Depot with the 3 kids, bought two of the cutest little "real" shovels for kids, put those in the stroller, and jogged back. I wish we could have weighed the stroller, Josh was super man! Esp because we had to push it over a "switchback" like ramp over a bridge.

The novelty for using the cool little shovels wore off after about 30 min with the kids, so we had them help us fill up 2 wheelbarrows of dirt for a snack and 3 for lunch. It was fun to work together as a fam, Rhett even joined us in his exersaucer.

It reminded me of Saturday's growing up, we were always working in the yard. While I grumbled about it, I was always so happy afterwards and loved seeing our handy work--which is why I wanted the girls to join us.

We celebrated with hot dogs and smores over a bon fire (that's a bit exaggerated of a description for what we had going). It was such a good day. I wish I took a picture!

Thankful for music

2011-11-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful for so many things. I'm thankful I could volunteer in Hazel's class, I'm thankful I have a friend to trade with. But my key note gratitude goes to being thankful for music and dancing. Today Felicity and I rocked out to the tunes on my blog for quite a while. We took turns showing the other a dance move and then us both doing it. We laughed and laughed to our awesome dancing. It was so fun and I loved being a mother.

Thankful for early flights

2011-11-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

Thankful challenge day 2!

Josh was in TX this week and was supposed to come home Friday. Then it was moved to tonight. Then he called me at 8 this morning and said he finished early and was going to try to catch an earlier flight to get him in at 2:30! He did and it was awesome. I was instantly motivated to clean and get things in order, I was so excited to see him, and early!

So for my thankful challenge today:

1. I'm thankful for him catching an early flight

2. Thankful that I was able to go to a meeting tonight I otherwise couldn't have

3. Thankful dinner went so much smoother than when he's not around

4. Thankful that he cleaned the house up while I was at my meeting

5. Thankful I missed him enough to be so excited for him to come home

Gratitude Challenge (fam pics!)

2011-11-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

I'm a day behind, but I'm going to do a gratitude challenge. For the month of November, I'm going to try to post something I'm grateful for every day.

Today, I'm grateful for two things. Well, ahh! I'm grateful for loads of things, but two in particular right now. That just sounds lame. I'm limiting it to two and now I'll stop my mental war of back and forth about not sounding grateful.

1. I'm grateful for friends and for all those who have reached out to write in their ideas about what they think my friend's medical condition is. I'm moved that a complete stranger wrote a long message because a friend of mine posted it somewhere else.

2. I'm grateful for prayer. And that even though we can't solve everyone's problems or be there when they need us, we can always pray for them.

3. I'm grateful for pictures. We just got our family pictures back from Gary Sexton about an hour ago and I'm so happy with them and so in love at looking at them because they're just full of happiness and it makes me want to go wake everyone up and have a big laugh and hug together. That's not what would happen at this hour, but it sounds nice. I was just going to post a few, but then I kept adding more and more. There are so many more though, so I decided to enter the modern age and add an album on facebook, so you can go there since I know you're hankering for more.

And that's three, but what can I say, I'm making up for missing yesterday.

Q: Are you up to the challenge? post in comments what you're grateful for.

I did this upload backwards, so you get the end of the night first and so forth. Gary was awesome to work with and managed to make the cold day pics fun for us all even though we were freezing, Hazel in particular because we forgot her sweater at home.

Possibly my favorite pics of all are these:

Modest Swimsuit Sale

2011-10-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

60% off ALL Products at Hapari! Cheap Swimsuits and “Shores”!

I was in the market for a new swimsuit this summer, but the hunt slowed when the season for swimming started to wrap up (yay! I love fall!). But the close of swimsuit season means companies are trying to get rid of their suits too, which means wonderful things for us. Like 60% off cute, modest suits for us.

My sister sent me this coupon link and ta-da, after a little bit of online browsing, I put some things in my cart, added the fabulous 60% coupon and watched my cart become more than reasonable for what I bought. Here's to hoping you can find something you want too! But I'd hurry because even though the sale lasts until Nov 5, I'm sure sizes will start selling out fast with this deal. I've never bought from them, but I've read excellent reviews. I'll let you know when I get mine!

Today through November 6th, you can get 60% off ALL Products at Hapari! Just use code FALL60. That means that their shores are only $9.60 instead of $16!

Hometown in National News!

2011-10-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I turned on the tv to "The Today Show" for a minute while I changed Rhett but I wasn't really watching because I was talking to the girls too and then I heard them wrap up the segment saying, "Reporting from Zanesville, Ohio..." WHAT??? That's where I grew up since 5th grade and my parents still live there! Almost nobody knows about Zanesville, but not any more! I was glued to the tv trying to figure out why, but had to look on the internet for the grizzly details (couldn't resist). Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

I think this is the most fitting sort of news to come from where I live, for some reason, it just doesn't surprise me. The fact that someone had all these exotic animals, the fact that it was somehow legal, the fact that he let them all go as a suspected revenge on his wife that just told him she was leaving her for another man and loved the animals (or so the town gossip goes). And then the killing of the animals. I think it's sad that they had to go out and shoot all those innocent animals, but where I come from--Zanesville--shooting animals is just a way of life. If we had raccoons or possums in the garage ripping off the cat food, my dad would grab his gun and send them to another world (I even had to hold the flashlight for him once when it was dark to go get him, not my favorite experience). The first day of deer hunting season all schools are out since they know everyone will skip anyway.

So when the sheriff decided to shoot to kill the animals, I doubt there was much arguing, this was probably a dream come true for some of those country boys, a night time safari hunt! I mean, you pretty much can't do that anywhere any more. I think it was the right thing to do because it's rural enough in most areas that those animals could have spread out and hid pretty well, so I'm glad they took care of it right away. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for the animals, I love animals--when they're not taking care of their business on my lawn--but I'm not attached to these animals like a pet. I'm just saying, I doubt they were crying about it. Sad thing is the sheriff is getting death threats by animal activists now which is really absurd, not a lot of rational thinking going on.

Here is an excerpt from our local paper there that I thought was funny since about 50% of my friends homes had deer heads up on their walls:

Lutz is not sure what they planned to do with the body, but the sheriff's office has received several calls and emails from people wondering if they could get bodies for taxidermy, he said.

"Hey, they're exotic animals," Lutz said. "We know what we had to shoot. There's a lot of people that would pay a lot of money for these animals."

And when we were showing our horses at the county fair years ago, some nimrod flew his little plane right over the show ring several times spooking all the horses which caused the horse my sister was riding to buck her off--3xs in a row--at which point she left the ring. He kept doing it--and my mom just emailed saying that was Terry! We wondered why on earth he was doing it and now we're still wondering why on earth he did so many things.

My brother in law apparently did some odd jobs for the guy when he was younger and one day he answered the door wearing a guitar. That's it. And that's how we'll end this.

There's no place like home!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4rnchDmGMU

Code Blue

2011-10-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

For the first time in years, Hazel's school had a "code blue" last week. That means the school was all locked down, nobody in or out. I was at the YMCA with the same deal, but they just called it a lock down, no code blue for them. I was there for 3+ hours, but thankfully, my friends were there so the kids all played, but after that long, they were kind of tired of the same little play room. There was a shooter on the loose and about 1.5 miles from my house. I had left my doors unlocked and was kind of nervous to return home and go through all the rooms to check things out by myself. Honestly, I went to my neighbors house first and was about to go ask him if he'd go through it first and realized, that's not the nicest thing to ask someone to do. So I did it, but wasn't thrilled about it.

Then the next day, they found and shot the guy. Which actually made me really sad, the fact that they killed him anyway. I don't know what went down, but in reading about him, he sounds like he was a really good man that was quite charitable and just snapped. It made me sad for people that hurt so bad or feel on the verge of something crazy when they're good people and just don't know the way to get it out.

The day after that I went into Hazel's school to volunteer and saw a policeman checking out the playground. Hmm. Whatever, guess they're being careful after all that? But then they unlocked the office door and hustled me and two other ladies in saying there was another code blue. What? Apparently there was a bank robbed 1/2 mile from the school and probably 1/10 mile from our house--basically right behind the apartments in our back yard. He was also on the loose. I texted Josh while I was hanging out in the office and he wrote back, "Where do we live?"

The next night there was a shooting at a fancy shopping mall near us too.

I'm not sure, but I think our national ratings for being one of the safest places you can live might drop.

Missing My Home

2011-09-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

This is a pic of our house in TX and our first and only garage sale. Where we scored. But that's not what this is about, this is the only pic I could easily find and I just feel like writing instead of looking on archives for our good pic of it. Yes, we have one really awesome one for our sale. Anyway, Josh is in Houston on business today and I begged and BEGGED him to go to our old house and try to make his way inside to see it. You see, on his last business trip there I did the same thing and he went, but he only looked at the outside. I was so crushed because I was dying to know what the inside looked like. I have literally had multiple dreams wondering what it's like inside and me visiting it and things either being the same or drastically different and my emotions all over the place when I wake up.

Clearly I have some attachment to it. I just put my heart and soul into that place, it was our first home and I painted each room as many times as I changed my major. Or in the case of the kitchen, 12 (including stripping wall paper as one of the times). And you thought me taking family pictures twice was a bit much. I'm not necessarily a perfectionist, but I don't like it when I have an idea in my head and then things don't work out when I know I can try again. And I tried and tried with this house, so many times and finally, with the move, it forced me to whip it into shape and I loved it. Not all of it, some things I would never love, like the black and gold fireplace, but you know, loved it as a whole.

When Josh called tonight, I went into a frenzy asking him if he was able to visit (he'd said he wasn't sure if he could, didn't have a car, tight schedule, etc.,) and he was teasing me by dragging it and saying it was late, and dark and he felt bad knocking, etc. I was dying with anticipation, and he kept laughing. Finally he said he was able to get in and I held my breathe, TELL ME! What was it like??? Was the living room still orange? I didn't say anything for a while. Finally he said, "It didn't look like they'd painted anything..." I don't know why exactly, but I let my breath out in a sort of amazing relief.

After all the people who had come into our house saying it was so bright and colorful (and sorta in a way like, "I'd paint right over it"), I figured they would paint it all to beige like it was when we moved in. Maybe the day after they moved in. But it's been 2.5 years and they haven't painted a room. I was just thinking of our giant orange room when he said that, but then he said, "They even left your mural!" And then I lost it, I just started balling and balling my eyes out and I couldn't stop. And I hardly ever cry, I've even been annoyed in recent years when I'm overwhelmed that I can't seem to cry because it feels so good to let it out, but I shocked myself and couldn't stop crying.

I can't exactly put my finger on why this was such a big deal to me, but it was our first home, it's where we had two babies, planted fruit trees--that are thriving now, painted and painted and learned how to decorate in my style a little. It's the home where I went through so many personal times of growth and change and trials and friendships. Where I learned about how to have a family, be a mom and wife, a homemaker. And when Josh mentioned the mural I'd painted for the baby room it just hit me in a really tender way of all of that, starting with my babies being there. I was sure that would be painted over as fast as I painted over the last family's dog mural on the same wall. They don't have kids, so I imagine they'll paint over it eventually, but it was so powerful to know that all my hard work and emotions and memories were somehow being preserved there because they left it all. And for so long.

I expected it to all be erased and I was just curious what they'd done with it. Esp the big orange room since we'd had so many comments on it. I somehow felt validated and crazy grateful when he said it was the same. I wasn't sure why I couldn't stop crying and what I was feeling and then it hit me, I missed it. Duh, I missed it. But you see, whenever people have asked me if I miss TX, I have ALWAYS said, "No! I miss the people, but the weather was so hot..." In the beginning I suppose I said I missed the house too, but I haven't really missed it or cried over our move or felt a longing to go back yet, and it's been 2.5 years. So this was the first time I felt all those emotions, and it was cathartic, but really annoying too. I hate feeling pain, I know it's good and it means I had good times there, but it's hard to want to go back and live that part of my life again for a little while and know it's not possible. I'm guessing that's the sort of feeling a lot of parents feel when their kids leave the home. I'm glad I'm experiencing a taste of it now so I can more fully appreciate my every day.

One other thing it reminds me to do is to make our house a home, NOW, not when we move. We never hung pictures until right before we moved because I didn't know where to put them or what to put, and I loved that at least some things were hung at the end. I need to do that now!

Here is a post I did before we moved and pics of our home.
*********************************************************************************

It's Sunday evening and I'm just enjoying a moment to myself and I realized that it's my 100th post! All I can think about is how nice it is to sit and have a cup of chamomile tea, have made two batches of cookies (and eaten about half the dough) and actually be on the internet relaxing. I think I might even have a chance to look at some friends blogs. But then again, Josh and I need to look at CA housing, can't get too carried away you know.

We have been BUSY this month. I was in Ohio with the girls, then Josh's mom came to help us for a week while he studied for the bar, they left the same day, then I finished up getting the house ready and finally putting it up on the market last Wednesday--hooray! Now that he's done with the bar exam (hoping he passed) and I'm done getting the house ready, we have a huge wave of relief and semi-relaxation.

Almost anyway. Keeping the house spotless any time we leave the house has made me want to be a homebody so we don't have to do a cleaning blitz if I want to walk to the park or get groceries. Pretty annoying and it's only been a few days.

I've neglected most parts of my life while trying to get this house ready, so here's to coming back to life! In this new life I commit to being a better mom who spends more time playing with my kids instead of working working working on the home. I'm so excited about this!

Here is our home listing. While I'm not a fan of the pics, our realtor just wanted to get something up. I took some new ones including the bedroom pic that's up and hope to get those up soon instead. Hoooooray! Here are my pics:

***

This is our living room--I promise we had two realtors come over and BOTH said to leave it orange, not like "it's okay to leave orange" but suggesting we don't paint it...we'll see.

This is my office (I'll be so sad to leave this) and guest room.

I love my NYC pics and fun clearance Martha Stewart wrapping paper.This is Hazelnut's room. Sad to leave it too. Okay, sad to leave all my rooms. Why didn't I get things hung on the wall before we're moving?

Poor City sleeps in our closet. We tried them together for a week and nobody slept. And the room just looked cluttered with a pack and play in it.Our love shack. And diaper station in the baskets. Guess you gotta have a little reality to the love shack.

Party room.

Josh's office, obviously.

We just rearranged everything and it looks soooooo much better now and I finally hung things up! WHY didn't I do this earlier? Because I didn't know where to hang things, ugh. Nothing like a deadline!

Kids bathroom.

Boring kitchen, but awesome backsplash (which we did after painting the old one three different times). I need to get a bouquet of flowers or something. This place used to be bright green so it feel pretty naked and that's an awkward feeling.The only color in here.Ta da! Now we can enjoy it for a month:).
Q: What's your favorite room?
Q: Honestly, not looking to change anything else because it sounds like a pain, but we're open to suggestions if it would help: What do you think we should change to sell?

Message to my Crying Baby

2011-09-06T11:14:00.000-07:00

Why oh why are you crying so much? I mean, I know you've just cut three teeth at record speed and all, which of course comes with a cold, but really, can't you try to not cry so much, for so long and so loudly? Can't you try to sleep since I know you're exhausted? And since I'm exhausted? It's like you knew how excited I've been for the two glorious hours I'd have to myself while my kids were at school and you were supposed to be napping and then cried THE WHOLE TIME.

I should really tell you thanks for being the perfect child I know you normally are whenever your daddy is around, but it's starting to not feel very fair. So lets cheer up and let the tylenol work shall we?

Family Pic Planning

2011-08-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again, family pictures. Not that we have an official time of year, I've only arranged real fam pics for us twice, but I'm trying to get on it so we can have some every year. I like theme-ing our pics, it's just fun for me. The only problem is there are so many ideas, and if I were an artist I could just draw them out and paint us in, but seeing as I need to go out an look for outfits and props--it makes for a big ordeal. And I'm on a bit of a timeline.

My photog friend said she was already booked up for the next little while and warned us that if we wanted to do pics in San Fran (yes), then I should do them soon before it gets too cold and the kids are fussy, irritable, cranky during it. And Josh. He hits his max after about 5 pics.

I went shopping the other day for an hour--which meant I thought it would be purely inspirational as I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do. I'd tossed a bunch of ideas around in my head and figured I'd go with whatever outfits seemed easiest this time. At first I wanted to go really glamorous Hollywood style with my blonde hair and work around that idea. My friend said we could borrow their convertible (I'd thought about renting) and wanted to find a bunch of palm trees and beach, but I couldn't think of anywhere like that close enough to us.

Then I thought, Golden Gate Bridge. But the glamorous theme didn't seem as good with that, so I thought about a few things and had a sort of dress in mind. I went into anthropologie to be inspired, but no plans to actually buy something in that heavenly, yet way expensive store, and then I saw it, the perfect dress. They only had one of my size--although it didn't matter that much because it has an elastic waist, but the hooks were falling off. After some talking with the lady (I think she was a manager), and noticing some other weak hooks and a dirty hem and no other dresses in stock in that size, she dropped the price 10% to 15% to 20% to 35% and then steamed it for me!!! And I wasn't pushing, I did ask if a discount would be available, but she jumped it up as she saw the defects (I only specifically asked for the 20 after I saw another hook prob). I was SO excited. And so glad I asked. The picture doesn't do it justice. Can you tell I'm excited?

Then I was rushing to get Hazel from school, but stopped in H&M which was next door and found these awesome shoes. Once home, I realized getting a size too small would actually hurt after all (unlike the thrill I had at finding the perfect shoes--I'd had a wedge in mind, pref a colored one). So I need to see if another store has a different size.

I bought some cute clips there too, I have a bunch of these already, and my girls wear them just about every day. I thought the rose/peach and ivory ones would be perfect for this picture.

My them is still evolving, but I think I'm doing a vintage look of a tourist family. I mean, we'll have the golden gate behind us and all. These are my wish list items:

And I just like the look of this pic.

I need to run it by the guy who will take our pics, but I'm pretty pumped. If only I didn't have a time crunch!

Q: Anyone know where to find 30s dresses for girls? Pants for men that are wide leg--it seems most of the stores seem to carry tapered legs for them now, not gonna work.

Q: Any props ideas? Thinking: old fashioned camera, wagon? Suckers? Anything for the kids to play with and look natural.

Falling update

2011-08-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

I saw my neighbor yesterday out walking with his dog--first time I've seen him not riding his bike--and a sling on his arm. Oops. I think we'll stop by to see how he's doing and find out what exactly happened to him!

Falling

2011-08-13T12:06:00.000-07:00

One more funny song thing, Hazel heard this "Falling" song that I'm leaving on my playlist just so you can hear it, even though it was a mistake, I don't like it. But I'm leaving it so you can enjoy a little humor.

Hazel listened to the first few lines and goes, "She falls a lot." It was hilarious. I don't have a clue what the song is about because all I seem to hear is a lot of falling too and I don't care for it, so I haven't listened all the way through.

But I do love the subject of falling as I see it as one of life's greatest amusements as long as no one is seriously hurt of course. Well, after thinking of one story below, as long as it's an entertaining fall and the person survives anyway. I can say this because I do it more often than a normal person should.

In other falling news, we saw a guy fall of his bike today. We were walking as a family down to Hazel's elementary school to check who her teacher was (SOOOO FUN huh? Ahh! I was freaking out, such a fun rite of passage!). Anywho, Josh was taking a picture of us as we were walking/riding bikes and then got this focused look on his face. Knowing we wouldn't bring on this reaction, I turned around and this poor guy was sprawled out in the middle of the street by his bike and dog moaning. I know I'm just a little evil for trying to stifle a laugh right now. I just have a thing for people falling, it's entertaining. I didn't know he actually snapped the picture with the guy in the background, so when I just saw this, I laughed yet again. You can't really see him in this size pic though.

No fear, I cropped it for a better look.

So this guy, a perfectly nice neighbor who I can't remember his name, rides his bike by our house every day with his lab and my girls got excited the first time they saw him and so he turned around and brought his dog back so they could pet her. He was just saying how much the dog loved little kids as the log lunged at City and nearly knocked her over. And that was the end of her love affair with dogs. That wasn't why I laughed when he fell down, believe it or not, I thought it was kind of funny when it happened to City too after the fact because she kept trying to tell off the dog going, "I not scared! I not scared!" after it started to leave.

And that's that. We stared at him laughing and then walked off. Although a little funny, that's not what happened. Another neighbor, who was closer went over to help him, but I sent Josh up to help too and then the guy thought his shoulder was broken so Josh went and got the van and picked him up and took him home. Josh said there was no way his shoulder was broken because he was moving it all over, but poor guy! And with people like me finding it amusing, I feel even worse for him. For the record, I didn't laugh when we saw him fall, I was actually concerned and that's why I sent Josh up. It wasn't until writing this that I saw the humor in it and then all the falling stories just made me laugh even more :).

I keep thinking of more falls! Another classic fall was when I was about 17 and it was my sister's birthday. Every year for her birthday, my family would go roller skating, which I'm still not sure why since we started this tradition in our teen years, but it's a good one. We were cruising around the rink in all our smoothness and trash talking each other when I looked across the rink and saw my dad fall. I of course burst into laughter and went over to make sure he could hear my teasing. Ends up he totally shattered his leg with a spiral break. He saw the ride to the ER was the most painful experience of his life, and this is coming from a guy who blew his own finger off with a homemade bomb and has a bullet lodged in his stomach. He still has problems with his leg aching to this day. And I was making fun of him. We have some sweet pics of my sisters wedding 4 days later of him in a mega cast though.

One last story about falling for your amusement. Or is it just mine? I was at BYU-Idaho and if you've ever been there in the winter, you've probably had your turn slipping and falling on the nasty ice too. I did plenty-o times and I'm sure gave lots of people their daily laughs as well. So I'm up on the 2nd or 3rd story of the Manwaring Center in a class and the quad was empty because it was like -100 degrees out and icy, and then I see this lone guy hobbling on crutches across the quad.

There were a few of us rooting for him to make it and then bam! He slipped and fell on a pile of snow. You can imagine all of us--not laughing at this point--going, "OW! Oh..." and then he gets up, puts his crutches back under his arms, takes a step and BAM! AGAIN! No joke. And then what else can you do but laugh at that point. Help? Or that. One guy ran down to help him. We had that horrible laughing, yet feeling terrible for him thing going for him. Our friend came back after helping him get back inside and told us the best part.

He asked the guy why he was on crutches and he said because he'd slipped on the ice.

Q: And now that I've admitted my cruel sense of humor, do you share it as well?

Jar of Hearts explanation by Hazel

2011-08-02T15:57:00.000-07:00

I was listening to this song, "Jar of Hearts," and Hazel's heard it off and on and asked what it meant a while ago that someone's heart was made of ice. Well today she's totally singing along (am I totally a bad mom?), not getting all the words, but a lot and then said:

"Mom, I know what this song means!"

Me, oh great. "Really? What?"

Hazel: So the girl, the mom, she lives in an igloo--you know? Igloos? And she she caught a cold there. And then she can't go back because...because she might sneeze on someone.

Me: You know, I think that's a great idea. I think you're probably right.

Now Hazel is singing it in a sassy voice to City because City keeps saying, "I-want-Rapunzel songs! Not, 'Who do you think you are!" Then Hazel sings it back to her. It's pretty funny. Possibly bad mom again, but this is funny.

Happy Birthday my little baby.

2011-07-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

Hazel isn't exactly a baby, but you know what I mean. She's my baby. She was my first and I've been reliving the first day she joined our lives 5 years ago today and remembering that magical transformation into motherhood. It was the most joyous day of my life. My wedding day was exciting, and all my subsequent children were also incredible experiences, but being my first taste of what motherly love was all about was really transforming.

Right after she was born and it seemed there were hands all over her and she was screaming as they were trying to position her for Josh to cut the cord, I reached up and touched her hand and she grabbed my finger. That did it, sold. I was so moved, so crazy in love, so fast. She is a dream and a delight, a very special child. She is mature beyond her years, aware of others feelings and emotions, considerate, compassionate, full of love. She's also really funny, full of life and insanely adorable and surprising.

She loves animals. One of her favorites right now? Snakes. Wha? She has a stuffed one my mom bought her when Rhett was born and I thought, "oh that was sweet, but a waste of money, what little girl wants to play with a sorta freaky stuff snake?" This one, and she named her "Rose." That's just how adorable she is. I'll post of pic of her sleeping with Rose from the other night.

Anyway, I usually don't write about all the meaningful days in my life, I have intentions to and I drift off to sleep with happy thoughts of what I'd write about the important days, but I usually feel it's too monumental a task to write about my family and significant things because I don't feel like I can do them justice. So this is just my abbreviated love note that doesn't encompass nearly enough to my little Hazel Bliss. I love you sweet baby girl.

Lost and FOUND!

2011-07-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

I left my purse on our airplane back from Ohio on Sunday and have been calling and emailing since. The last lady on the phone didn't give me much hope saying if they found it, it could be a looong time before they got it to me because they'd likely ship it to their warehouse where all lost items from all flights go and there are thousands of things there and then they have to sort through claims, etc. She told me to get on canceling all my cards, after being shocked I hadn't yet, and then said something to the effect that it's not a big deal to lose a purse, you just cancel your cards and get new ones and skip the hassle of trying to find my purse.

WHAT?

She must have one credit card and nothing else in her purse because it would be a full time job replacing all the junk and important stuff in this baby. So you can imagine how thrilled I was to go back to the airport today with it there. Hooray!

This pic sure looks like I have the "love of money" sin going on. It's more like, Relief!

Josh's reaction

2011-07-09T12:39:00.000-07:00

I've managed to max out my picture limit on here somehow so it stopped me from uploading more pics. Ugh. What? Anyway, at least for now I have these up. These are pics from when I surprised Josh with my new do. I hid Rhett behind a wall and sat against a pole thinger and as you'll see, I sort of stood out since nobody else was around.

I had my video on my camera going and in my efforts to not be completely noticeable to him, I didn't turn the camera to catch his reaction when he realized it was me. I'm so bummed I didn't! You'll see him look my way in passing (but not "checking out" notice, yay-he passed!) and then a moment later he sort of turned my way and looked at me for a few seconds and then wanders over. It was so great. He said when he saw me the first time he was thinking how I had similar features, really similar and then wondered if I would do something crazy and that's when he looked again.

These are after he saw me.

This was my re-enactment of using the camera incognito! :)

Oh, surprise, it's just me.

And I bought a new shirt for the ordeal so he wouldn't notice that either. Yay, it all worked!

And here are some more blonde shots.

I think his reaction is absolutely adorable. Can you see why I LOVE this guy?

One picture

2011-07-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

My sister just emailed me this, it's the first one I've actually seen. I did find my memory card so I've now taken plenty of pics, but I figured I'd at least send this one pic even if it's not the greatest since it's already on the computer.

Crazy huh? I love it even more each day I get more used to it.

Do blondes really have more fun?

2011-07-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to find out. Platinum, baby.

Unfortunately, though, my camera battery died, so I put my memory card in my sister's camera and now we think her camera is in the car that is at the shop. :(

But aren't you dying to see me? I mean, I am. Every time I look in the mirror I surprise myself. I so wanted to write this post with some pics and I couldn't do it before today because Josh doesn't know yet and now that he's finally on a plane to come see me in Ohio I can post this (you know, without him finding out on the off chance he'll check my blog during busy work--you never know right?).

Excited for: 1. to show him my hair and 2. finally get to see him, hooray!

And he has no idea. About the hair. I can't wait!

Q: ever changed your hair to the extreme?

Romantic

2011-06-17T14:48:00.001-07:00

I'm sure you've all seen this. Hazel just saw it and goes, "pretty picture...why is that man all black?" Anyway, I just read about it and think it's great. The girl falls during the riots in Vancouver and her boyfriend jumps down to comfort her with a kiss. I love it! I'm such a sucker for romance, esp the kind that you can only imagine happening in movies like this!

Q: are you a romantic?

How do you say "Medela?"

2011-05-30T16:18:00.000-07:00

You know the nursing company "Medela?" Well, if you didn't, you do now. How do you say it? Chances are, "Me-dell-uh." At least that's how I've heard it from everyone until my sister said it's pronounced, "Me-dee-lah." So I tried that out, but nobody said it that way, and I was stumped. I've wondered this for year. Years I tell you, and I finally decided to figure it out once and for all.

My sister was right, it's "Me-dee-lah." I called, that's how. And then Josh came in and read this--before I had the correct pronunciation written--and goes, "You didn't know how to say Medela?" Uh, what? "They're a client of ours." Seriously, all this time. Well, they haven't been his client for all this time, so I suppose he forgot it was a nagging question.

Anyway, so there are like all sorts of words out there that I hear pronounced a variety of ways and now when I'm ready to track them down, I can't seem to think of any. There's the local elementary school that everyone says one way--except if your kids go to school there, all the school employees say it differently, but now that I know, gotta stick with the right way.

Q: When someone pronounces something incorrectly, do you correct them?
Q: Any words you've wondered the correct pronunciation for?

Teaching my girls about girls in the world

2011-05-18T15:36:00.001-07:00

My girls had a friend over today and there were all sitting in front of me at the bar while I was making them lunch. I started singing, "The Star Spangled Banner" with vigor because I LOVE it and burst into song frequently. Esp that one. Their friend asked what song it was and I told them it was our country's song and asked them if they knew how awesome our country was. I told them that as they got older they'd learn how awesome it was. They asked why, so I started with the basic answer about freedoms.

They all started chiming in with how they knew what freedom meant. Julie said, "It means you're not stuck." I thought that was such a good answer. Hazel said, "I know what it means too! It's like if you're at the grocery store and you get something and you don't have to pay for it!" Then we talked a bit more about what it meant.

I gave a few examples. I said how lucky we were to live in our country because we are free to go to church where we want, "Did you know some people can't go to church where they want? In some countries girls aren't allowed to go to school..." Pause. Oh shoot, should I have not mentioned that?? Then Julie goes, "And in some countries boys aren't allowed to go to school?" Um...not as far as I know. I regretted saying anything, I don't want little girls to know that there is any difference for girls and boys throughout the world, at least not yet. I quickly said, "Maybe, and in some countries you can't choose what you want to be when you grow up," Hazel, "I want to be a policeman..." Julie, "You can choose to be anything you want!"

Thankfully there wasn't much thought, if any, to the girl thing for them. But it struck me then how grateful I was to live in our country because I thought about how lucky I was that I could choose to just shield them from this information right now and they could reach for the stars.

How would it be to have to live in a place where women are second or third class citizens and little girls can't go to school? I had flashbacks to when I lived in Uganda for a summer where women kneeled for the men when they'd come into the room. How at many of the poor schools we'd visit the girls sat on the ground when the boys sat on benches. There were so many little things like this, and nobody seemed to think anything of it. The women there were so courageous, so hard working, putting up with all sorts of garbage from the men. Our group that was there for the summer was always surprised to see tons of men just hanging out on street corners smoking and drinking while I can't remember seeing women relax, like ever. They were always stooped over hot stoves or fires or carrying kids around, so many of them having AIDS. Many of the women having been raped or abused. The women just kept carrying on though, what wonderful women. And to think of all the societies in the world where there is a gender imbalance, I'm just so grateful to live here!

What would it be like to be part of that society, even just living amongst them I'd have to teach my girls what that is all about. But what is it about? What would I teach them? I'm not sure. You?

Texas pat downs, Amen!

2011-05-15T20:59:00.001-07:00

Thank you Texas. Thank you for stopping the creepy full body pat downs, I love this about you and love the applause that the vote received at the end! I mean, I know the feds either have or will overturn this, but I like the effort. Article follows:

AUSTIN (AP) - The Texas House passed a bill that would make it a criminal offense for public servants to inappropriately touch travelers during airport security pat-downs.

Approved late Thursday night, the measure makes it illegal for anyone conducting searches to touch “the anus, sexual organ, buttocks, or breast of another person” including through clothing.

It also prohibits searches “that would be offensive to a reasonable person.”

The bill’s chief sponsor is Republican Rep. David Simpson, who said, “this has to do with dignity and travel, and prohibiting indecent, groping searches.”

He believes it will keep Transportation Security Administration officials from treating travelers like criminals, though the measure may be superseded by federal law.

After a brief but raucous debate, lawmakers approved the measure with little opposition — drawing applause from supporters.

Berkeley Love and Happiness

2011-05-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, Josh humored me by letting me drag the family out on an outing to Berkeley where there were three things I wanted to do.

1. West Elm. After an on and off again hunt for a few years, I finally decided on this duvet cover.

I just put it on today and LOOOOOVE it, my room pics later, but here is the cover. I can't recommend it more from my 12 hour experience so far. It's soft, fluffy, relaxed, and makes me feel like I'm on vacation. Oh, and after lots of dives onto the bed from our end table from my kids, it passes the rumple test, meaning, it still looks great since it's not a perfectly smooth cover like I'd originally planned on getting. I know gas isn't cheap, but it would have cost $20 to ship this, uhh...yeah right, we'll take the fun day trip.

2. Crate and Barrel outlet a few miles away. They were having an additional 10% off over the weekend and there were a couple of small things I wanted, so it worked out perfectly. When we got married we got 4 ice cream dishes from Josh's sister and I loved them. I happen to be a bit of a klutz though and all four were broken within the first year or two. I also shattered a big pyrex pan this week, you'd think it was a hobby. Anyway, I've wanted to get some ever since, but they're not usually stack friendly, esp when they're glass. Until C&B, thank you wonderful design gods. For $.95 each (plus 10% off!), I got 8 of these babies and I feel like I'm in love all over again. And they're plastic. Have I said I'm in love?

I should add that these wouldn't be nearly as pretty or tasty or useful if they weren't filled with chocolatey goodness made by my one true love. My live in expert chef and baker, also my husband. He and C&B knew the way to my heart :).

3. Berkeley itself. Last year I went up with a couple of friends to check out the outlet and I fell in love with the gorgeous tree lined University Ave with cute shops that I'm sure were all way too expensive to even look at, the folksy band playing outside Peets coffee shop, a girl asking a couple to sign a Green Peace petition for something wacky I'm sure (yep, saw it on my very first visit, my visit felt complete). And then to add a C&B outlet and a CB2 right across the street, how marvelous.

Josh made our trip worthwhile for him by a quick visit to the Ghirardelli outlet where they had a 3 pound bag of mixed chocolates for $5. Did you read that? THAT'S LIKE DIRT CHEEP for their fancyness. We bought too much chocolate and still felt like we robbed them. And I'm hurting my scale every morning now, but oh how yummy my days are.

He's the foody in our relationship, so he also found Zachary's pizza. We had to wait 40 min, but we filled that by meandering through shops and a boulangerie to pick up a few other things that are bad for us. So how was the pizza? Holy camoli, it was the most divine pizza ever (which I'll probably say the next time I visit NYC and have theirs again...), but seriously, you should go if you're close. Like an hour away close. It's Chicago style and it was so thick and huge and roll me away and right into heaven style. And it was nice and loud so nobody seemed to hear Rhett screaming, awesome! Oh, and as a humorous side note, we saw one funked out couple holding hands across the table for like 2-3 min, just silent, it looked like they were meditating over their pizza. It was great.

The one place we didn't visit that I secretly hoped to was a birth center. It's the only one around and I know it's not going to work out for us since it's too far away, but I was still curious. I know Josh wouldn't have stepped within 30 feet of the place, but a peek would have still been fun.

When we moved to CA we didn't see ourselves living here more than 5 years, but after visits like that, well, I'm just not putting a time limit on this.

Q: What does your perfect day trip include?

Royal Feeding Party

2011-05-01T21:57:00.001-07:00

On Thursday, I got sucked into reading about the royal wedding. When I first heard about Will and Kate's engagement, it was like I was hearing the weather report, whatever, people are always in the news and people are always getting married, I couldn't care less. And here's the power of media. A little blurb here and a little blurb there, and I found myself quite interested in "What will her dress look like?" I know, I'm a sucker. If only you knew, I'm like dust that gets sucked up by the vacuum sometimes, I just can't resist.

So I was looking at some of the pics of them together on Thursday and I showed Hazel and told her that there was going to be a big wedding that night, but that it was really day in England, and that girl, Kate Middleton, was going to become a princess. She said she wanted to watch it and I said, "Oh, it's in the middle of the night here, so we can watch it tomorrow."

Then right before bed she got really excited and goes, "Mom, I'm really excited to watch that wedding tonight with you where Kate Middleton becomes a princess!" Oh! I felt so bad that I'd confused her, she was so excited and how did she remember her name? I told her I was sorry I'd confused her and I meant we'd watch it tomorrow and she was okay with that, but I felt bad because she looked so excited about out mid-night date. We set it to record though.

Rhett woke up around 3am to eat, so I jumped up, checked the t.v, and the exciting part with the important guests arriving was JUST starting! So I went in and asked Hazel if she wanted to come watch the wedding with me or just sleep. She smiled and immediately got up. It was the funnest little mommy-daughter (and son) date I've ever had in the middle of the night :).

Seriously, out of the 6 hours of coverage they were doing, what are the odds that we'd get there just in time to see her get out of the car in her beautiful (finally!), princess-y dress. Hazel was so excited. We cuddled while I fed Rhett and then stayed up a few minutes longer. Prob 40 min total. I know a bit long, but so fun.

Q: Any of you watch it? And just for the record, I'm 98% sure I wouldn't have gotten up on my own to see the dress. Just 98% though.

Bedroom Makeover in Progress

2011-04-27T15:13:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of making over our bedroom. When we first moved in, the wall behind the bed was this beige color but the rest of the room was an ivory. I wanted to make it light and airy, so I painted it to...

This. But you can't tell in these pics that there is even a dif, but there is, and it was wonderful to have it all cohesive finally. But the day after we painted it (we did it at night on a whim), it was yellow and greenish in certain lights, and I realllly didn't want a yellow bedroom.

Here is where it was last week (minus a pillow, I had already washed that case and didn't want to stuff it again for the picture). You'll have to excuse our curtain/blinds, the girls broke the middle one and we're anxious to change them anyway, so we're not going to bother trying to fix them.

I took off the old pillow cases and comforter (all bought for DIRT cheap at a Pottery Barn outlet during our hurrication--hurricane Ike). They've served us well, but they're so wintry that I've been wanting to get fresher linens for summertime. And that comforter is a beast to wash, I shove it in our machine and it's like climbing out when I wash it, so we try to avoid that. I thought a duvet cover would be much easier.

I wanted to make it more oceanside like, you know, white comforter, poppy, punchy colors for accents. Hopefully some blue or ocean pics. We got a new cheap duvet, thank you Target (and it's the 2nd biggest I could find, hooray!) and some pillows from Ross and TJ Maxx (DKNY blue ones, I love them!).

Now I need to finally nail down a duvet cover and find some cheap euro shams to cover the pillows. The only problem with the duvets I've found is that they're all but one too small for my comforter. One is only two inches short, so I think I'll go for it anyway. I'm SOO excited!

And then I decided I want to change the wall color, so I have new colors up. I can't decide between a dark slate, which I LOVE because of the contrast, but I'm afraid of it sucking the light out of the room, and a light greige color.

Q: What would you do for wall color? Do you think a dark one would suck the light out?

Restaurants and Kids...

2011-04-26T16:29:00.001-07:00

...don't mix well.

Last week Josh and I took the kids to a boring as anything decking warehouse in a ghetto part of town and it was past dinner time, so we thought we'd make it fun by taking them out to eat for a little family fun time. Why does that always sound like a fun idea and then not end up being quite so "fun?" Oh, because unless it's Sweet Tomatoes, kids and restaurants don't mix well. At least not ours and the restaurant.com coupons we always have.

We took them to a Mexican restaurant on Santana Row, which is pretty fancy. Josh always gets these phenomenal coupons for $.10-$.90 each for big deal coupons, so we just have a stash in the car and that's how we determine where we'll go. We were in San Jose, so we chose the Row one, how convenient! And how silly of us, unless we were going for burgers or ice cream, not a kid kind of place.

Here is what happened next:

-Three trips to the bathroom with City

-One trip to the bathroom to change Rhett on some paper towels I spread out on the small space between the sinks

-One trip to help Hazel

=me wiping three dirty bottoms and a total of 5 trips to the bathroom. Thank you Josh for taking care of yourself in this area.

More fun:

-Rhett is hysterical because he can't sleep and Josh is getting hysterical trying to calm him down.

-City couldn't sit still and apparently wasn't hungry, she just wanted to smear her body all over the floor, bench and look at the people over the other side of the booth.

-Hazel only likes plain, discernible foods, so all the dishes that arrived freaked her out.

-I'm trying to laugh it all off and keep everyone calm.

And then:

-Josh cuts off some chicken, starts it towards his mouth when I notice a foot long, black curly hair stretching between his bite and his plate. I stop him before he gets to enjoy that extra touch and wave down a waiter.

They felt really bad and offered to get us a new chicken or something else. I didn't really care, I was just telling them to let them know and honestly, nothing else really looked very good on their menu, esp for kids, so she suggested some sopas, "Is it fast?" I ask, "yes," sounds great, thank you...gotta take care of my wild, tired kids.

-I finish the chicken because Josh can't get past the hair, which is funny because I'm usually the hair freak. Since it cost $18 though, I was going to eat it even though we had a coupon.

-Sopas arrived, bleh mostly.

-Josh takes City out for a walk outside because she was doing something inappropriate, probably putting her feet on the table or something charming like that...

-Hazel needs to go #2 and it can't wait she says, so I take Rhett and Hazel the bathroom leaving an empty table with our food all over it. Tried to flag down a waiter to tell them we weren't ditching them, just another bathroom break.

-Boxes arrive as fast, I take some kids out and Josh trails me.

-Now I was getting hysterical, get me out of that place! None of us was ever even sitting and just eating, we were feeding, wiping, soothing, pacifying and nibbling here and there, but definitely not sitting down at a "sit down" restaurant.

The total bill? Before coupon and hair mishap, $60ish. After? $7. Yes, you read it, $7. Josh tipped $5, so we spent $12 on the whole thing. Which I'd probably say was still not worth it, but an entertaining memory nonetheless.

Q: How do you make eating out more enjoyable??

Boston Marathon Recap--two years late

2011-04-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

The Boston Marathon was two days ago and a course record was set, 2:03:02, that's stinkin fast. I've been looking forward to this day for the past two years since I ran it in 2009. Why? Because technically, I still qualified for today's race since I requalified to run it during the Boston itself in 2009. I knew there was no chance in afton-world that I would do it, but it was still a nice thought knowing I could still sign up for it. That really doesn't make sense I know. So I went for a little run today and really pushed myself, I went farther than I've gone in almost a year--a full 3 miles and at only just over 10 min miles. And yes, that was pushing myself and I'm already sore.

I have never written my Boston update and I've been wanting to ever since it happened, but I knew it would take too much time and energy to do it how I wanted after it happened, so I just didn't. Time is the best editor for me, so this will be much shorter than it originally would have been. And since this is seriously old news, I don't see the point in any of you reading this, except if you want a taste for what goes into the race since my sister took lots of fun pics of the atmosphere.

I trained with my friend Shelah who is lightening bolt fast, and since we both got injured for three weeks in Feb (race in April), she decided to not try to train for her 3 hr marathon and insisted she wanted to run it together even though I was sure I was dashing her dreams. She is wonderful and the only way I finished that darn race in under 4 hours.

Thanks to my wonderful husband, we not only stayed in Houston an extra month instead of moving to CA so I could keep training with my friend, he also let me go do this race the weekend before we moved to CA while he helped get the house ready to move and took care of the girls. It was such a special weekend that I got to have all by myself and it was something I not necessarily needed, but was emotionally rejuvenated for (which after moving to CA and a disastrous house we discovered I would need that strength!). A million thanks to him.

I flew in from Houston Friday night, got to my "airport hotel" that was only 45 min from the airport, in the opposite direction of Boston. And that's what you get when you buy through priceline and are going cheap. I got to bed around 1am.

Saturday morning I went for a 1.5-2 mile jog. I felt like a race horse on race day, my body was just pumped full of adrenaline and I couldn't run normally. I was trying to keep it light and easy so I didn't burn myself out, but I was charged.

After my jog, I went to Boston, figured out my way around on my own--which was fairly empowering for someone with a completely messed up internal gps system. I went to my dear friend Alicia's apartment and dumped my stuff off. She was gone somewhere, so I just dropped and left. I went to the Expo and holy camoli, that thing was huge. Apparently it's one of the biggest in the world, and it was awesome. I was alone for about an hour and it was so exciting. I just soaked up the whole experience, but I felt a bit like an impostor. I knew a lot of these people had run tons of marathons and my first one was only 4 months earlier. I just felt like I had snuck in and was a fake amongst real runners, so my feelings were all jumbled.

I was also really nervous about my goal time of 3:21. Shelah and I had trained at that pace actually, but that was on flat Houston sidewalks, not the hills of Boston. I didn't want to do any more marathons and I knew that I was going to have a hard time finding a training buddy as fast as Shelah to push me if I did another one (we were both moving), so I just wanted to get it and be done with it, but even though you're supposed to be able to go faster than your training pace on race day, I was pretty sure I'd been giving it everything or close to it on my training runs so I didn't think I could trim it down much more, esp with those beastly hills. At one station in the expo, I got a cool wristband with my goal time on it and where I should be time-wise for every mile. They even took into account the hills and adjusted your time that way. I got one for both my goal time of 3:21 and my realistic time of 3:29.

Then I met Vicki, one of my dear friends I grew up with since I was 11, at the expo. It was so fun to see her! She's a runner too, so we had a lot of fun wandering around, sampling stuff. Then I went to dinner with her at an Italian place and caught up, it was so fun! Then I went back to my friend Alicia's and stayed the night. It was so wonderful to get caught up with her as well. She had a baby that was like 2-3 weeks old and they were in apartment student housing at Harvard, so it was a major sacrifice for her to be hosting me. I slept on their couch and when I thought the fact that a newborn in an apartment would keep me up, it was actually just my anxiety about knowing I really needed to sleep that kept me up. Ugh.

Here is yet another great friend I knew from NYC, Brittany. It seems that Boston attracts awesome people:). She took me to the airport at the end of it all, but I posted the pic at the end, so it ended up on top.

Here is the bib pick up.

It was such an adrenaline rush to go to my number and actually get a bib for me! It was pretty awesome. They sent all sorts of mailers out beforehand with all sorts of info, I love that kind of thing so I nearly memorized all the material. I was alone at this point still, so I had a lady take a picture of a very excited me.

My parents and sister, Autumn, flew in the next day. I thought it would be fun to have them there, but I wasn't planning on it because timing just wasn't working out. I figured I'd just meet up with my friends and get around by myself. When they told me they were actually going to make it, I had a huge sense of relief that I was surprised by. Things were just so much easier with people to help out, esp with something big like this. The support and companionship was so huge, it was one of the most memorable times of my life because they were there.

It didn't hurt that they put us up in the Hilton hotel either, sure beat the boondocks place I stayed in. It was right across the street from the expo, which is actually where I met up with them. My mom didn't realize it, but my friend Vicki worked at the Hilton, and Vicki took it upon herself to check if we were staying there just because she knew I'd be in town, found out we were, and upgraded us for free--awesome huh?

My wonderful fan club :).

Giving my dad a hard time about something or other.

You could buy these funny bibs for the other side of your shirt for $10. I opted to just use stickers with my name (provided at the expo--cool huh?) written nice and big for people to cheer for me.

They had a bazillion samples of stuff out. No need to carbo load any more!

Buying a jacket that was way too much as a present from the parents. I'm so glad she made me get it though, I love it.

This was a cool wall made up of pics of the runners and the elevation of the race. It's so weird looking back at this, my nerves were so wired with anticipation and fear that I wouldn't hit my goal. I paid for a video to be taken of me during the race and did a little into for it at the expo.
Getting last minute directions the night before for the next morning.

A long day for everyone. It wasn't the brightest idea to try to do a walking version of sightseeing Harvard campus and Boston before the race, my legs were already tired.

A new shirt also from the parents. See the one on the bed? My sister was getting it for me but couldn't decide if I'd like it or not because it said, "Boston FINISHER" and she wasn't sure I'd be into announcing that. She told the sales lady she wasn't sure if I'd like it and the lady said something like, "Oh yeah, a lot of people are nervous about buying it because they don't know if they'll finish or not." I love that my sister laughed because she had confidence in me that that wasn't the case and bought it for me.

After the expo we walked to the finish line so I could visualize actually finishing this sucker.

All the restaurants around had deals for the runners or just signs of encouragement.

Shelah and I actually passed these guys during the race around mile 16 where the nasty hills began. They talk about "Heartbreak Hill" and how it's so hard because of where it is in the race. They don't talk about the 3 major hills that come before it. Cruel, cruel torture. I was so done before I even started them, so by the time Heartbreak came I was like, gee, what's another one. I'm already in heckland. Now this may sound silly, but truth be told, when I felt like dropping out and stopping--which was about every other step--I thought of two things: my parents at the end of the race would wonder where I was, so I had better finish and 2: I paid for a video and I'd better make an appearance at the finish line or that would be a really bad chunk of memorabilia. And I alternated those two thoughts to keep me going. Yeah, I'm impressed with how inspiring I am too.

As I felt like I couldn't go any further on them, I kept thinking of this duo fighting the same hills and thought how much harder that would be. And how embarrassing if they'd pass me. We went to dinner at the hotel that night, they offered a big pasta buffet and it was yummy.
Race morning! Greasing up my toes. Oh, so the night before, I went through my bag to lay out all my stuff and my race shirt wasn't there. I sorta freaked out, called Josh, had him search my stuff and discovered that it was indeed in Houston still. I thankfully had this backup, but it's just stiffer and not so comfy, so I was nervous about it chafing. We also set 6-7 alarms through the four of us and hotel wake up calls (we were in two different rooms) and even then, I couldn't sleep because I was so paranoid about missing the race. My night was full of dreams of me missing the race and then me looking a the clock to constantly show the a.m. hours. That would now make, 3 nights in a row of bad sleep.

It was a pretty nippy morning, so I layered well. I bought those polyester pants on a Walmart clearance rack for a few bucks thinking I'd have to toss them at the starting line.
My morning gear, Autumn took pics of all my junk, which I'm happy to have :). Glad she gets the details!
Unfortunately, my watch and my ipod semi-broke the week before the race. I discovered that if I didn't touch my watch after turning it on it was fine and my ipod magically just worked that day, but the screen has been black since.

Expo goodies.

Going down...

I think the walk to the buses was like 1+ miles, sort of annoying on race day.

Lots of water at the finish line.

A trash can near the buses, hilarious huh?

My dad was nervous we were going to be late, esp when he saw this line, but I was thinking, there is no way they'll start with this many people still lining up for the buses.

It was actually incredibly efficient.
I met this nice lady in line and we sat together for the ride of about 40 min to the starting line. It was fun to talk to her. She said she wasn't going to wear a watch and was just going to enjoy the run. Enjoy the run? Is she insane? I was not planning on enjoying this run and was certainly not giving up my watch.

This is "Athletes Village." I felt pretty cool getting to go to a place called that, it was like the Olympics!

This may look like a lot of potties, and there were so many more, but seriously, LINES everywhere.

I waited in this one and I think I finally dropped out because they were calling for my wave to get to the starting line, which was also 1+ miles away. I still hadn't found my friend Shelah, which really isn't a surprise out of 25,000 runners and bad cell coverage. I had dressed a certain way and was nervous about the temp, so I stripped down by some trees to change with some ladies shielding me. I think I was adding clothes, it was so cold.
The last pic I took with my camera. I ditched the potties, ran to the starting line, but stopped in a parking lot to go potty first. There were tons of runners waiting in line to go and I was like, "I'm totally going to miss the start if I wait!" But I had to go, so I saw lots of people just squatting by cars, so I did it too. Very nice. I had managed to get a hold of Shelah seriously just right before I ditched my bag and found her as our corral was about to let out. We ran to the start which sort of freaked me out.
In the very beginning of the race, I started with Madonna's "Tick Tok" song and cranked it up nice and loud. I took off with the back to back heard of people only to have all my chews and goos fall out of my shorts pocket. I knew I had to have those for my run, it was my only sustenance during it, so I turned around and ran against the pack. I had a few people run straight into my head, which hurt for the next TWO miles, no joke. I finally found my stuff and found my friends again--we made another friend in pink at the starting line with the same goal time.

In happier times. Probably the 10K mark.
Towards the end. I can't explain the kind of pain here, but it was pretty darn bad. I was hating life in a big way. I knew at this point that my goal time was shot, so I felt pretty defeated and felt my "realistic" time slipping too. I was so so so spent. I was spent at the half marathon mark. I actually made a personal record during the race for a half marathon at 1:40, which would explain why I was tired, but I knew I couldn't maintain that pace and I had to if I wanted to finish in 3:21. I told Shelah I couldn't keep it up. Also at the half point though was the Wellesley girls college and it was seriously awesome--you could hear the screaming from like a mile away. And there were fans cheering every bit of the way, they were just like 10xs louder, it was awesome.
When I rounded a corner and saw the finish line I was totally, insanely shot. It was probably only 1/8 of a mile away, but I was like, "It is THAT far? I can't run that far! How will I finish?" Shelah grabbed my hand and that helped me focus. I saw her look to the side and she must have heard my parents and sister cheering because I was so out of it. So then I looked and saw them. My dad said he told my mom right then that he knew I had nothing left.

So you know how in a race you weave in and out so you always end up running more than the actual distance? Well, according to my watch, at 26.2 miles, I was still in the 3:30 finish, but my final race time was 3:32 and my distance was 26.45, which I wasn't thrilled about, but I'd really just wanted to finish in 3:30 or less, so I counted it.

If I could figure out a way to post my video of this part of the race, I totally would, it's comical. As soon as I crossed, I almost collapsed. I started wobbling, I grabbed my chest and reached my other arm in the air trying to find some kind of support and an aid (they thankfully had slews of them, it's great they anticipate ruined people at the end) ran to help me stand. I just wanted something to eat, an orange anyone? I was so hungry and nauseated, I needed something, but they didn't have ANYTHING except a banana which I'd had one too many of already. Shelah was like "Do you want me to run ahead and get you something?" Yeah, and she could have, she's amazing and had energy left over. I told her thank you, but that was a terrible idea since she had just run a marathon, thanks again.

She helped me walk on the opposite side of the aid. They kept telling me to sit in a wheelchair but I resisted over and over. Finally they had me sit down to take off my chip on my shoe and when they sneakily did that, they rushed over a wheelchair and started asking me questions to make sure I was coherent. As soon as I sat in it I was like, "and now all my pride is washed away..." it was so humiliating. But then I tried to think of it as being glad that I gave it everything and knowing I couldn't have given it a bit more so at least no regrets.

I remember mumbling to Shelah, "That was worse that natural childbirth..." and this lady nearby goes, "It is!" I don't think she realized I had something to compare it to, but it was nice to have her agree. It was.

Autumn said it was funny to see the pics on the camera because (and it was her camera, mine broke before I got to my hotel on the first night, nice) this was these were right next to each other:

I look pretty awesome, no?
We were so cold and I was shaking like a lunatic, get me to the hotel and massage my legs please!!!

My sister and mom were so awesome, they massaged my legs for who knows how long. I finally managed to get up and take a shower and a short nap. At that point I felt really good, emotionally I mean. And physically too I suppose considering where I was just hours before. It's such a nice feeling to be all clean and warm and rested after being so spent and dirty.

On the way up to the hotel room in the elevator I said, "I am NEVER doing that again. I am never running another marathon ever again." He goes, "Yeah, that's what we all say, and soon enough you'll sign up for another one." I laughed and said, "Not me." Then when I called Josh to tell him about it (he got text messages along the way that reported my times to him, cool huh?), he was like, "So do you want to do another one?" I told him no way and he goes, "Oh...because I was kind of hoping we could do the St. George together (in 4-5 months)." Oh great. Fine, fine, sign us up. Which he did, along with me roping my sister into it, and then Josh's knee got ruined, so I was stuck doing it with my poor sister I dragged into it. But that's another story.

If you're like me, something I think about well in advance is what I want to eat after the race. Before it's all so calculated, but after, just give me the worst food ever and enjoy every bit of it. We figured the Cheesecake Factory would fit the bill. My mom made me wear my medal and after resisting, I put it on. And then I thought that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea since I was creeping and waddling along so people knew what was up.

Oh, and after the race when my parents were helping me walk to the hotel, tons of people kept congratulating me on the way, I think they felt horrible for the poor crippled girl, and it was really embarrassing again, but nice that people were so sweet.

Hm, what to eat! Weird thing was that I wasn't that hungry, it was disappointing.

I slept well that night. The next morning we did a quicky tour of some Boston sites. I wasn't exactly quick though, so we took a taxi even though it was only 1.5 miles away. It was really funny, you could totally pick out the runners that were out and about, lots of people grabbing handrails going down steps with a nice grimace on their face, it was really fun.

My friend Vicki who hooked us up.

My parents and Autumn left after I did, so they took a taxi ride to the start of the race, or close to it, so they could see the course. I so wished I could have gone with them since it was all a blur.

Here is the winner of the whole thing. He was on the first leg of her flight with him, so cool huh? She said he just put his trophy in the overhead bin, just like that, plop. ??? I would have held on to that baby or at least wrapped it up carefully. She said he was really sweet and modest about the whole thing.

The race was on Monday and I flew home Tues, arrived that night to a fun cake made by Josh and the girls to celebrate, even though we had movers coming in the morning, so sweet! Josh still had to go to work Wed morning, so I got up to try to get things packed for what we'd need in the first 2 months of living in CA while the movers were there. That was a serious time crunch and it was only really bad because I could barely walk, I was so sore that I was just creeping along for the those two days. Then we flew out to CA on Friday. BUSY!!!

And there you have it. Or there I have it since I think I'm the only one reading this thing. I had planned on being done with marathons after that, but the St. George was a welcome relief and showed me that I could enjoy running. Sure it was an hour slower, but maybe that's the key! Since I didn't hit my goal time I've always wondered, hm, if it was the St. George course and I was as well trained, I could have gotten it, I should do it again! But the bigger part of me says, just enjoy those 10 min miles and relax. Which is definitely the plan for the foreseeable future.

I tell people I normally can't stand running, it's the races I look forward to, but more accurately, I should say it's the before and after the races I look forward to. That weekend was so awesome except for a 3 and a half hour chunk in the middle of it all, I'd do it all again!

And with that, I'm off. Happy trails!

Q: Any desire to run this? I know, after such a glowing review, who wouldn't right?

1.Funny 2.Entertaining 3.Good idea

2011-04-15T15:27:00.000-07:00

1. You'd think that if you're going to make millions of "Forever" stamps that can be used, well, forever, you'd make sure you knew what you were putting on it. There is nothing like celebrating our heritage of welcoming tons of people to a new life with our own Lady Liberty...

from the top of the miniature one in Las Vegas, party on folks.

Yep, no joke. Oops USPS. Apparently a Statue of Liberty "Super fan" noticed some small differences and the article ran in a stamp magazine--which I find amusing that such a thing even exists. USPS were notified and said they're leaving it, but they're going to look into how images are processed so they don't have another rather embarrassing mess up again.

Can you tell which one is the real one?

Fake on left and now on millions of stamps. And that's what I call funny.

2. Ever heard of Altoona, PA? Well, really, who has. But don't worry about it because starting April 27, it will officially be named, "Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever sold." Also, no joke.

For 60 days of a new name, the city gets $25,000. The dude that did the "Supersize Me" movie is doing one on advertising, and I love it. Cities and government are known for policy, stuffiness and red tape, so this just makes me plain happy, and the mayor too! He said, "We're really excited about it..." And that's what I call entertaining.

3. Josh and I discovered this one night and our wheels started to spin. Is this for real? Can we really get our CA mortgage paid for 3-12 months while our house is painted with an ad on it and then GET IT REPAINTED for us in it's original colors at the end of it? Yes, it's for real and yes, we considered it. Three reasons:

1. You get your mortgage paid while you have it painted like an ad. That alone is almost worth it.
2. You get your house repainted at the end, which I'm dying to have done.
3. It's amusing.

The only downside as far as I see it? We have to have it painted back to our original colors, which I think would just make me sick to see all that effort going into making something ugly again. If this is for you, check out how to do it here. See, even this house looks way better than ours with the ad on it. And that's what I call a good idea.

Q: What do you think? Would you do the ads?

Family Fun Mag $3

2011-04-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

If you love Family Fun magazine like I do, here is a great deal. Go here:

http://www.tanga.com/products/disneys-family-fun-magazine-subscription--33

and it will say it's like $10 for the subscription, but then after you start registering to buy it you can enter "DISNEY" as a coupon code and voila, it's $2.99. I already have it, but I bought it again, and you can buy it at this price for three years. Have fun! Haha, had to do it.

SitesThat Make You Think

2011-04-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

Here are a few sites that will make you think.

This one will make you think: wrong. Or is that just me? Baby bikinis, and we're talking teensy tiny when actually on. Do we really need string bikinis on babies?

This one will make you think: I might throw up now. Or you need to see a therapist. This chick spends her time making grody little organs that you can wear in your hair, on a clip, on a necklace, in a jar, the possibilities are endless. And apparently so is our list of organs, but she's sure putting her best effort into making sure she makes them all.

Here, a nice set of kidneys to adorn your ears.

Why not sure your smarts off by wearing a brain in your hair?
Oh, or this. Why not display a tapeworm on your coffee table or put it in your purse for your kids to play with or pin it on your shirt as for a conversation starter. And people may never talk to you again.
This one will make you think: much better thoughts than the above, but still weird. Although I am curious what it would make babies look like and would be kind of fun to buy a little toupee for Mr. Rhett.
Q: Uncomfortable yet? If not, just go check out that organ grinder site.
Q: Any weird sites you know of?

April Fools Fun

2011-04-11T14:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the great suggestions! We started off the day by making "spaghetti cupcakes." Hazel and Eli had a lot of fun making them, they were so stinkin cute. And it's days like that that make me love being a mother.

City made hers after her nap. And ate every last bit of jam, hey, waste not want not right?

I think these are so cool looking!

And then for the really fun part. The night before I was stewing about what to do to the missionaries since I already blew it by answering the phone and setting up our dinner appointment. I considered having a neighbor answer our door and say we didn't live there, they didn't know who the Parkers were, but this wasn't their house and then when they called us, us giving them directions and insisting we were waiting for them at our address.

But I wanted to do something more. I was thinking out loud in bed the night before running my ideas by Josh. How about adding a nasty sounding, yet fake ingredient to our dinner. I thought about picking up some funky looking stuff at the Asian market, that would hopefully taste good, but could pass as something else, like "goat innards" or something. Then he laughed and said I should tell them I put breast milk in it. And then we were just laughing in our sleep-deprived way and then he said I should say something like, "Hope you don't mind, this is just really good for fighting colds and with all the colds going around, we try to do what we can."

And so after finally settling myself down with the humor of it all, I prepped the next day and did just that. I put real half and half in one and milk in the other.

First I said, "I meant to ask, are you guys allergic to anything?" so they wouldn't have an out.

And I left them in as plain of sight as possible for the missionaries to see. And I waited until they could see me. I also set up a hidden video camera at a friends suggestion :). It took a run through earlier in the day to make sure I could keep a straight face, but when I said it, I had to send Josh outside to the grill so I wouldn't crack up laughing with him. Then I said, "this may seem a little weird, but this is just really good for you and fighting colds, and we're all just getting over them, so we do what we can" and dumped it in.

I was about to hastily move onto the next subject so I wouldn't have to worry about my straight face, but then one elder goes, "What is it?" Ahh! No! Now I have to say it? So I said, "breast milk" without looking at him and then in my mumbling way I went on about this ice cream parlor in London that sells breast milk ice cream for $20 a cup and they sold out of their first batch. I just searched it and apparently they put the kibosh on it due to fears it would spread viruses.

Anyway, I was just dying, hot and sweaty, opening all the doors because I was just dying from all the pent up anxiety and laughter. We sat down to eat and I opened up the other pump and dumped it into a bottle and fed Rhett with it right there so they'd buy it even more that it was real.

Then Elder #1, the shy one, was serving Elder #2 and asked how much he wanted (it was a chicken curry dish). He goes, "oh, lots!" I was like, "What??? Didn't you just see and hear what I put in that?" He goes to town eating it. Who knew this joke wouldn't work. But then the other elder redeemed me a little and avoided eating any of the sauce for a long time. He picked at all the food around it and finally after he ate some Josh goes, "So have you guys eaten very many unusual foods?" Josh!! No! This makes it harder to concentrate on not laughing! Then Hazel goes, "Mmm, Mom, this is really good sauce" along with the slurping sounds from Rhett.

Finally he goes, "Afton, can we put them out of their misery?" When we told them we played an April Fools joke on them, Elder #2 looked confused, he didn't think anything unusual was going on. When we told them, he goes, "Oh, I was thinking, well, I do kind of feel a cold coming on, so..." You've got to be kidding me. He was actually okay with this and willing to eat lots to fight his cold. He was amazing. The other elder was more silent about his reactions, though I tried to get it out of him, I just got a few relieved looks and mumbles. Poor guy was probably torn up inside.

They were such good sports about it, too good almost, I figured they'd be freaked out! Then we served them the safe spaghetti cupcakes and sent them on their way. They were so good about it that I want to try it next year, with a new set, but I really doubt I'll still be nursing then.

Q: Would you have been grossed out? I mean I dumped it straight from the pump on the counter!

April Fools Ideas?

2011-03-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

I signed up to have the missionaries over on April 1, obviously not an accident if you know me. Problem is, I can't think of anything to do to them. Does that sound bad or what? And they are like the two most tender looking guys, both bore their testimonies on Sunday and they're weepy, sensitive looking guys, so I don't wan to do anything big, well, not humiliating anyway, just something funny.

Any ideas?

Sleep Deprived

2011-03-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

I love sleep, I really love it. I used to say my favorite part of the day was going to bed, which Josh found a bit depressing. He'd say, "But you can't actually enjoy sleep because you're sleeping!?" And I'd say, "Are you kidding me? I can feel it, I've never been happier!" Well, that part probably isn't really true, but it is a marvelous moment when you're exhausted and you get to lay down and drift off and you feel the heavy rest settling in on you, oh it's heavenly. I've told him often how I'd love to sleep for 24 hours. He used to think that was impossible I think, and then he was introduced to my sister Tina and she topped that once. I come from a family of women who can pull all-nighters and are night-owls by nature, but when it comes to sleep, if given the chance, we'd be tough competition. Given the chance is the problem.

I have a few friends who say they're pretty good about getting by on little sleep and I wish they could bottle that stuff up and sell it. I don't know what you call it, endurance? I think I'm pretty good about enduring a lot of kinds of physical torture, as long as it's self inflicted, but when it's sleep, that's a whole different ballgame of torture. No thanks.

Josh likes sleep, but he does really well on not very much. Me? Used to. When I was in high school and college and hardly sleeping, I managed to get a lot done, I was exhausted, but in robot mode I suppose. Now with kids I'm responsible for keeping my cool, I'm supposed to be teaching these kids how to live happily and respectfully and if I'm short on sleep, that job becomes a lot harder than cranking out a research paper on little sleep. You're only responsible for yourself if you fail that paper and really, eating a half (or whole if it's really bad) carton of ice cream with roommates can soothe the paper grade, but failing your day as a parent just brings some more guilt to the stack that will come back to haunt you when your kid seems a little ill-adjusted and I think, "Is that because I acted like xyz with them??" And it's probably true. Yikes! The pressure!

So how do you get sleep with a newborn and two other kids at home? Not to get all mommy-blog on you with the never ending question, but yeah, that's one of the top things on my mind right now. I figure that kids are fairly resilient though and I think that overall I'm a pretty good mom and really, I think I notice it more than anyone else, which is good. My kids are as cute and sweet as ever and they adore the baby. They take care of him like he's one of their baby dolls, City even drew on his head and feet with a (sharp) pink pen because she wanted to play with him. That's how she plays.

Anyway, the thing is, and the whole reason I'm writing this, is because even though I'm wiped out, I'll finally lay in bed at night, baby is FINALLY asleep, and I just lay there. I listen to Josh fall fast asleep, listen to Rhett's loud breathing rhythm, and then listen to my own thoughts clouding my ability to listen to my sleep function announcement. And you know how when you tell yourself to go to sleep and how much you need it only makes you more anxious and then prolongs it so you try to think of other things and well, the cycle goes and when you finally drift, the baby wakes up to eat.

Which brings me to my last thought. I sat nodding off in my quiet dim closet in my rocking chair the other night, painfully aware of my sore throat that wasn't going to get better on my current sleep schedule and trying to get Rhett to wake up so he could finish eating and we could get some real sleep.

I thought, "I wonder how many other moms are out there sleep deprived and feeding their babies right now? How many are cleaning up barf or poopie diapers or soothing a child with a bad dream? Who else is awake? Nurses, doctors, they're all awake right now. I'm not so alone, there are plenty of sleep deprived people out there. If only I knew who they were, I'd get my phone, set it on silent and just start texting all the other new moms and what a fun bit of entertainment that would be to get me through my feedings. If they're awake and feeding, they could see the little light go off on their phones too and we could say, 'hey, how are you doing? What does it look like where you are right now? Are you reading? Watching tv?" Then we'd all be amused and happily buoyed up and then could drift off to sleep in bed. I love that idea.

I love more the idea of nursing in bed, but guaranteed, every time I nurse laying down, I get so so sore and then it leads to an infection if I try to do it after I'm sore anyway (they crack, etc). But that's not for me and honestly, I kind of enjoy my little bit of solitude with my baby. I like sharing those moments with him all quiet in the middle of the night just the two of us. I like that I have good books that I get to read that have been on my list forever and now that I'm nursing I finally have a chance to read them. I like that while I'm not thrilled to get up and feed him, I do get to open up my book and continue on with whatever happens next. I just finished Laura Bush's bio and now I'm reading "On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet." Not page turners, but very enjoyable. I read a page turner when he was a newborn (is he past that stage already?) and I actually had a hard time sleeping afterwards, ugh.

And that's that. No real story here, just a lot of sleepy rambling. Hope you get some tonight! Sleep that is. Ah, how times have changed.

Q: Do you have trouble falling asleep when you're tired? How do you finally fall asleep?

Q: If you're unwillingly up at night, what do you think about?

Ticking off French people

2011-03-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

My sister shared this link with me and I only wish I could post the video here, but I only managed to get the link. And here I didn't think French people had a sense of humor. At least the pranksters do!!!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1927783

Duvet shopping

2011-03-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

I've been off and on looking for a white duvet cover for a few years. I've finally decided to crack down my search and get one and it seems the market is seriously lacking. Lame-o I say. A simple, white duvet cover, like in all the resort pics, just something simple and plain so I can pretend I'm in an elevated beach hut with the waves splashing below...which I've got covered thanks to Rhett sharing his waves machine with me at night. I think I need it more than he does, I've grown accustomed and can't sleep well without it now.

Anyway, all the "plain" ones I can find have stripes and I don't want stripes. I can't think of any more places to search so I think I'm down to these two unless any of you have another idea to look.

Option 1: Overstock bedding.

Pros--cheap, fluffy looking, doesn't matter if it's wrinkled, looks comfy.

Cons--shortish both in length and width for a king. I really don't want short, I was hoping to have a more billowing spread that looks generous rather than shrinking the bed.

Option 2: WestElm.

Pros--I like the look, fluffy. 4 inches longer on sides and 2 inches longer in length than above.
Cons--look below. That's the same one being sold on ebay. One thing is clear, they need to take better pictures. But still, if that's how it looks new out of package, then it's not pretty and the wrinkles will matter. I'm also nervous the pintucks will fall apart with kids playing on the bed. Cost more.

Q: Anyone know of another option? Anyone have the westelm one?

Photo shoot

2011-03-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

You know I've been trying to come up with something cute for Rhett's photo shoot and here it is! The hat was the inspiration. It was from Josh's fam, not sure who exactly, probably a sister's, but we got it from a mass giving away of childhood clothes. I loved the hat and thought, hm, what would someone wearing this hat be doing? Walking in the woods.

My friend and professional photog, Meghan, came over for the shoot. She did our family hippie pics which I'm now realizing I never posted. Anyway, part of me says I should wait and just post her better pics, but I'm so excited about how the set turned out that I decided to post a couple of pics I took.

Here is the set. I want to add a bubble caption somewhere like, "What a lovely sleep walk in the woods."

Here is my cropped, edited version via picnik.

After I picked up the kids and put City down, Hazel was so excited about the set that I dressed her up and decided to snap a few. She was loving the shoot, so I took a bunch, it was so fun. Here is my little red riding hood.

And I'm dying to see the other pics Meghan took. My friend Whitney made the most stinkin cute hat for me the day before, SOOO cute, and Meg took pics of him in it. Unfortunately Rhett inherited his father's dislike of photo shoots, so I'm not sure how many good ones we got, but knowing Meghan's mad skills, I'm sure there are a few winners. Will post when they arrive!

Etsy Love

2011-03-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

I've made my first Etsy purchase! I used to think Etsy was too overwhelming, but that's because I didn't have anything in mind when I first went there. Now I love it, so much great stuff!

After spending way too long trying to find the perfect stamp and even uploading 32 pics of fun ones here, Josh and I narrowed it down to two, #19 and #30. I liked the wax splat on the one and we liked the "We are here" on the other, but the font didn't seem to fit the whimsy of that one, so after doing some MORE looking, I found another site that I'd somehow missed before--and even now going to search for this image I couldn't find it (went to my account and found it there, imagine that).

Anyway, we bought this one from http://www.etsy.com/shop/2impress. I love all their stamps and want to buy more and more and write letters just to use the stamps! I have my thank you's finally done from baby gifts but I'm thinking about waiting to send them so I can go to town with my new stamp once it arrives. I love that this one has the little hand and the fill-in-the-blanks like an old library card, I've always loved filling in blanks on things like this. I used to buy pads that were all official for secretaries so I could fill in nonsense about "While you were out."

And I found this from them too and want to get it because it has your address and then tidy little lines to do what? FILL IN THE BLANKS! How fun! More filling, I love it.

And on a separate note, I want this hat for baby pics. But it takes too long to get here before we take the pics. Anyone have a cute fluffy hat? Or know of a place in the bay area that might sell cute hats? I can't find much online. ugh.
Q: Do you shop from etsy? Josh didn't know what it was last night when I was talking about it and I couldn't help but laugh. I should be proud of him really, he is a man after all.

Address Stamps

2011-03-12T15:57:00.000-08:00

As I've been catching up on thank you cards that are well overdue for baby gifts, I've been reminded yet again how nice it would be to have an address stamp. For Christmas Josh printed labels which was great, but even faster and more fun would be a stamp. So, I've spent my nursing hours looking up address stamps today. After perusing the web and not finding much, I thought, hmm, I wonder if there are any on Etsy.

There were 3,783 to be exact. And I looked at every one. Here are some of my favs.

1.
2.

3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.28.

29.
30.
31.
32.

Josh screened out some of my more girly choices but I've been informed that my girly-o-meter went a little wobbly after the testosterone left the room and so I know a few of these aren't really options. But I thought the pear was too cute to take down:). I decided that I have really mixed style after looking at these, and these were when I was trying to be Josh-friendly and choose more masculine options, there were a lot of super duper cutealicious ones I didn't put on here which would have confused my style even more.

I decided after looking at these and thinking about me, I can't get a really rigid or exact one with straight lines because I'm almost guaranteed to be in a hurry when I'm stamping the envelop running to the mailbox or post office and I'm not going to want to bother with making sure it's straight. And with some of those more modern ones, straight is really how they would look best. I think I have it nailed down to about now. Just like baby names right? I'll show Joshers and see what he can live with and hopefully I can get us a stamp to make writing letters even more fun.

Q: What are your favorites here?

Entryway Project COMPLETE!

2011-03-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

Before I had the baby I was on a frenzy to get all sorts of projects done, one of them was to hang hooks in our entryway. I've always wanted a spot for visitors coats and purses, but I've never loved the standard hooks I've found. I bought some at Target once and just didn't love it after trying to so I returned them. I told my artsy friend Heidi about my dilemma and how I wanted to do some kind of circles and she looked up some ideas for me.

I found this perfect set of three circles with hooks already on them at TJ Maxx and then decided to bite the bullet and buy the too-expensive-for-a-circle-of-wood from Michaels. I bought some hooks and hangers for the backs and some orange paint. Here are the circles before our magic wands touched them.

The girls were excited when they saw them. Not excited when I spray painted them white. Then I had my friend Heidi over to help me paint and try to place them. She cut out these circles and hung them for me to try to come up with a good arrangement. She was a saint because I was working on other projects trying to clean out the kitchen while she cut and arranged.

Notice the grey circle? So that's our door stop thing and I had painted it grey when I painted the walls instead of the bright cream color that stood out. Then we all thought it would be a perfect orange addition, good idea us. Oh, and I found that orange circle mirror at Target, PERFECT! Too bad all my circles weren't so cheap.

My saintly sister Uncle Tina was also here working as a slave for me during the final days of prego. She was organizing the black hole where my teas and chips hide out. It is sooo much more functional now and I know what is in there! Thank you! It was one big work party, so incredibly satisfying to see things take shape so quickly. The rest of the junk are the girls papers, I was making them binders of their stuff. And now I feel bad saying junk, clutter. That sounds bad too though. Stuff. And my diaper bag contents, yes, Tina also organized that for me.

The girls playing while we painted and organized.

Josh got the work crew pizza. It was such a fun afternoon!! I loved the company and productivity.
That night Josh and I were going to a work dinner. It was also my due date and as I look at these pictures, I'm a little shocked at my enormity. I mean, I knew I was huge, I felt like a whale, but then when you see pics in hindsight, it's like holy guacamole I really was a whale with legs! Heidi stayed behind with Tina while the kids finished eating. And then when we came home, our house was spotless!!! Tina really was amazing, we lived in a clean house for three weeks, it was awesome.

Today we had someone come look at our house and the cleaner the better, so I dropped the kids at a friends and cleaned like a mad woman. I can't remember cleaning so fast and so much! I decided to take a pic of my entryway while things were clean.
Isn't it adorable? And now that they're up, the girls like to hang their jackets on the hooks but now I don't like things on there because it's like artwork. I mean, when people come over yes, but not having the girls coats hanging there all the time. Anyway, I love it! Thanks Heidi!

Oh, and you might have noticed the grey circle a brighter orange, then after hanging them all up I decided we needed another light one. And then I also noticed that when you open the door fast, it really is a door stop and it scratched off some of the paint. Oops, forgot it had a function. Too bad I mixed up the color myself so now I don't have an even match, or the motivation to fix it. You know how when you finish a project, put everything away, a week goes by and you notice something wrong? It's just done in my mind. The boots are a quick fix though, the door now hits those instead. And they happen to be cute too!

Baby pic ideas?

2011-03-09T20:51:00.000-08:00

I'm having baby pictures taken soon and after examining my fried brain, I've discovered...nothing. Well, no original thoughts anyway, so I looked up that blog, http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/ for ideas, and she took down her pics because people were violating her copy rights. She said it was okay for people to post a couple with a link to her blog, so here are a couple I found.

I just need some inspiration, I thought of maybe I could dress him like a cowboy and put all of our stuffed horses around him, but I'm just not sure that I'll want lots of shots like that, one or two yes, but not more.

Q: Any ideas for creative baby pics?

Jewelry Finds

2011-03-08T15:35:00.000-08:00

My friend invited me to her neighbors jewelry sale at her house and I totally fell in love with the stuff. I mean, when you hear about a neighbor's sale or something local and small, you never know if it's going to be cute stuff or cheap or whatever, but this was so awesome, I can't wait to get more! I have loved everything I bought. The jewels are made by two sisters, the "Green Eyed Girls" and their friend, "The Aqua Nest." Here is their etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/greeneyedgirls?ref=pr_shop_more

And here are my awesome jewels.

And the girls were adorable, super nice and fun. What's not to love about this?

Q: Do you have a fav jewelry site that's reasonable? Post here!

Postpartum

2011-03-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

Here is the second man of my dreams. I just discovered these newborn shots from the hospital, I'm so glad we have more than I thought!

The classic cross eyes.
Pre-sneeze, I love this look!
Giving the girls their doll diaper bags I made.
I was going in and out of extreme sweating and freezing shakes, I stole Josh's sweatshirt which happens to hide my post-tummy nicely and is yet so stylish.

I can't get enough of his newborn outfit! One of my friends gave him those gator socks and I bought the raccoon outfit years ago but could never part with it as a gift like I'd intended.

This was us hanging out waiting for the birth certificate lady so we could sign his real name (I had just posted the "Gaylord" bit:).

Proud daddy.
I love this, he already loves me!

Happy little family.

Right after having Rhett I was in a mix of emotions, which is no surprise since my hormones were out of whack, but more because of my disappointment with his birth. On the one hand, I was in awe of this little wonder that had joined our lives. I'd been so nervous about having a boy and after all that we'd been through together I felt like he was my new best friend, my perfect little gift fresh from heaven. I have complete joy when I see his new born pictures I just put on this post, I remember the overwhelming positive feelings I had for him during those first few days. I couldn't believe how much I loved him and how normal it was to love a little boy and yes, to nurse him, which I thought would just be so weird. I told Josh it's the most normal it's ever been actually. It's probably due to the fact that it's my third, so I've had some time to get over the weird factor and it's the easiest I've had with nursing as well, so that can't hurt with earing my favor.

On the other, giving birth is one of those experiences that are pretty huge in this lifetime. It's something I don't plan on going through a whole lot (relatively anyway), so each time is precious. Of course it is by the very nature of it, I mean I'm bring another life into the world. But since it's not going to happen all that often, I had hoped it would feel euphoric and miraculous and instead the whole experience had been full of anything but that.

As I arrived home from the hospital I was greeted with all of the hilariously simple responses about Gaylord/Rhett's name that I had some excellent laughs. The next day I laughed harder than ever reading everyone's stories about their thoughts on the name after they knew it was, fortunately, not Rhett's destiny. Thank you for the entertainment! It was a highlight in the midst of major disappointment.

After settling in at home, I thought I was prepared for what was to come. I pulled out my loads of hemorrhoids stuff, nursing aids, pads and thought I could handle life pretty well. But I wasn't prepared for my feelings. A darkness hit me and I wasn't sure what to do. I knew it was because of my disappointment with the birth, I just didn't know how to process it, I couldn't get it back and I couldn't change it, so I was left unsure of what to do.

Oh my gosh, I loved this session. I had taken a nap with Rhett and then City came to join us, it was so sweet.

Her kiss was spontaneous. She kissed City in a picture when City was a newborn too, Hazel is just naturally affectionate. Well, they both are, Hazel is more tenderly affectionate and Felicity is more aggressively loving.

I had time to reflect on the birth experience and the intensity of my feelings of frustration and failed expectations turned to a weight settling over me. My feelings slowly started slipping away and while I still felt them, I just generally started feeling detached from life. I still had a major thing for Rhett, like I think I mentioned earlier, he was my solace, he'd been there going through his own difficult journey on his way into the world and we bonded after we were both done. I felt so connected with him, but not much with anyone else.

I've had some ask why I was so sad after it, and the best way I can describe the disappointment is this: imagine you trained for months and months for a marathon, one that you couldn't do again because it was a special lottery of sorts. You read books about training, you got up before the sun to run 18 miles, you'd push yourself till you threw up some days, you paid attention to your diet and nutrition like your you'd be graded for it and you rarely if ever took a break, always training, always on your mind for the big day.

And then the marathon day arrives, you're totally prepared for an agonizing yet hugely rewarding experience and you get to the starting line and someone runs over to you, grabs you and puts you in their official car and says sorry, something was wrong with your registration, you can't run this, but we can drive you to the finish line and you can still get your medal. And then they drive you quickly to the end where they give you your medal and send you on your way. Oh, and maybe they beat you along the way to make sure you still feel the pain of the race :). That's what this all felt like, a robbed experience I trained for and was excited for that would be a treasure in my box of memories.

The staff had large areas of growth in the whole bedside manner bit to work on for one. I didn't like how they treated me, they were condescending, frustrated when I'd ask questions, pushing for extreme preventative measures (I think c-sections are extreme since they're major surgery--and they totally have their place, but I don't think it should be commonplace), not being consistent with their concerns or each other, and not listening to me. It seemed like Kaiser was using me to be part of their teaching program for their residents, letting them experiment on me as a way to grow without guiding them a little more. I know that's how people learn the best, but I think they should have had someone helping out more, esp since my resident was a first year and I was a "risky" patient.

Anyway, I thought sleep would help, when doesn't it? But if it did, it was only marginally. When I slept in all morning, even if it was all broken up with feedings and even if I still wasn't getting enough, I felt like such a slob being in my pjs and robe all day. I knew I needed the sleep, but I knew I needed to get out of the house too. I was embarrassed with my feelings so I tried to deal quietly, but when they started getting worse, I finally talked to Josh about my feelings. Finally? Well, it was five days, but time creeps when you feel depressed.

I also felt guilty for not being able to take care of my girls, I worried about them feeling neglected by me. I wasn't sure how to articulate all these feelings though, so I was still stuck feeling like I was sinking into a quiet misery alone with my baby as my comfort. He was my solace, I felt like he had been through everything with me and he was my treasure I pulled from all of my disappointment. I didn't want to let him go, I slept with him tucked beside me the first 8 days both day and night.

My mom was here and helping tremendously with everything from cleaning to cooking to childcare, etc. and Josh was busy with work too, so I just thought I'd try to sort things out alone again because I felt stupid talking about it. Unfortunately, it was getting worse and I was nervous about post postpartum depression kicking in (and not just the shorter term "baby blues"), so I planned a trip to the beach to get out where we wouldn't be nervous about germs.

Rhett was born on a Friday and then we went to the beach on Thursday. It felt good to get out, it was beautiful and peaceful. I felt better being there and I was happy to spend time with my family and to be with my girls. It's so hard to be physically not that mobile though, I hate feeling like I can't run around and play and interact, instead walking carefully to not mess things up in the nether regions.

Their beach finds, seaweed and shells.

We didn't think enough to bring shovels or sand stuff, so we found a board that Josh used to make a "thing."

Pretty sweet spot to nurse, too bad there wasn't a back on the log to lean against, otherwise, nice! Oh, and it looks like I'm being a bit hyper with the cover up here, but it's a bit involved for me to get used to nursing a newborn, so this is safer for everyone.

One afternoon shortly after, I was sitting outside in our backyard holding Rhett in the glorious sunshine with a bright blue sky overhead with my girls in front of me on the swings. I should have been in a state of bliss, but I didn't, it was a bit like I was sitting outside of my body watching myself sitting there but not able to feel what the person was feeling who was sitting there. Just feelingless. It was so awful, and it had only been going on a week. I've had periods of being depressed in my life, but this came on so suddenly and unexpectedly, it was jarring. I thought of all the people I knew who suffered with long-term depression and I agonized for them during that period. How could they live like this? I felt like I was breathing and eating, but not really living.

When I took Rhett in during the first week for a drs appointment, they had me fill out a routine form checking how I took care of him and other questions. A couple were about if I had felt feelings of sadness or negative feelings about life or something like that. I was reluctant to check yes even though it totally fit the bill, but I checked it anyway because I figured I should just have it out there and the pediatrician can be aware of it. The assistant looked over the questionaire and filled in my answers on the computer and then my dr came in. She never mentioned it, so neither did I. I wasn't exactly looking forward to outing my problems with her, so I was relieved on the one side, but disappointed they'd overlook that on the other.

I talked to Josh about it again and among the many things I love about Josh, one is that he's a worker. And it doesn't matter what it's at either, he's good at working and in this case, it was trying to understand me--which was a bit of a large feat I admit, I barely understood myself. After talking to him though, I felt a weight was being lifted and he was sharing my burden of the disappointing birth.

I found that it was also highly theraputic to talk to friends about my experience. I kept it in at first because I felt like a baby, but then I realized my feelings were still real and my friends were real and they wouldn't judge me for them, and they, you, haven't. So I shared and I gained so much support, even if it was just a listening ear. And seriously, I felt better and better just from sharing my feelings. That shouldn't have surprised me, that's always how it goes for me, but this was different than just my day to day feelings, so it was a huge relief, and almost as quickly as the dark clouds had come in, they were swept away.

It happened so quickly it was hard to believe it was really there. I felt like myself and felt happy again. It was such a huge relief, I loved smiling and feeling happy while I smiled. I loved that I felt honest with myself again because I'd felt so fake and not myself keeping my true feelings silent. Just after I started feeling great again my mom babysat our girls for us so we could go for a night out and we were so happy as we walked around Carmel and watched the sunset go down over the ocean. I felt completely renewed and refreshed by the talented, artistic people who had created that town and aware of God's love for us as we stood and watched the ocean waves crash on the shore with the spectacular sunset.

As I reflect on this experience, my heart goes out to all those who live with darkness as a way of life. I prayed constantly, I read my scriptures, I sang hymns to my baby, but I didn't feel any sense of comfort, and I've heard that's often how it is for people who live with depression, it's just hard to feel much of anything but gravity pushing the air out of you. Thankfully my experience was more of an episode, but it was enough to give me a renewed sympathy for those whose brains have literally chemically adjusted so they can't just snap out of it with some good heart to hearts. Thank you to all of you who have listened to me, ranted with me, and been my friend. I'm a cornball, but yeah, friends matter!

And here's to a happy life of a new busy-ness to begin!

I LOVED this scene. It was a group of guys drooling over a fancy car, Josh knows what it is, not me, but some European car. They were asking the owner qs. We happened to be in town the weekend of a big golf tournament with lots of celebs, which meant lots of people with money roaming around.
I loved the cute little shops!
It looks like it's straight out of a children's book. We bought some candy for the girls here, adorable isn't it?
We walked down to the beach and my goodness, what a heavenly site. Not just the sunset, but all the people congregating for the grand finale of the day. I loved that so many people were there just to enjoy one of nature's gifts to us.

Birth Story Part 3

2011-02-19T11:56:00.000-08:00

I love this pic, he looks like a little tank.
FYI: This is a journal entry, so that's why it's novel length, sorry folks:).

I'm back! Sorry, this kid really has his days and nights confused and my mom and sister hit the road to go help others in distress (we got them for over FIVE awesome weeks though!!!), so I haven't had much time on the computer, only replying to urgent emails or reading stuff since I'm one handed while nursing. Josh took the girls to get an oil change (a real one, not a diaper change--that's just in case your dad and my dad have the same sense of humor) and I planned on napping, but I'm considering this story my journal entry and it's been nagging at me to finish, so here I am in my pjs and bathrobe at noon, sticky milk on my skin, teeth unbrushed, and trying to stay awake.

The rest of the story.

Why I was sent to L&D

When the doctor came in and told me I had to go to Labor and Delivery, I was shocked, and quickly irritated at what should have been a suggestion but came out like an order. I should add that she looked like she was twelve, and although that will treat her well when she's 80 and people ask her skin care secrets, it didn't do much to bolster my trust in her.

She told me that she was concerned because it had been a while and the baby hadn't moved, so in case something was wrong she wanted to do an ultrasound, but all of their machines were busy so I needed to go to L&D. I reminded her he had moved once and they only wanted him to move twice, so I wasn't sure why I needed to go to L&D when I really needed to go home so I could labor there and be with my kids. Her tone changed and her story became more serious, the more I declined her dr's orders (which made me question the truth, was this just her ego or was something really wrong?).

She said something was wrong and that they wouldn't send me over there if something wasn't wrong, "we don't send just anybody over there." Well why didn't you tell me that in the first place instead of saying you just needed to do more monitoring and your machines were full? I resisted saying that out loud. She said that the baby's heart rate should be fluctuating with every contraction and since it wasn't, something could be (changed to was after my resistance) wrong. I was confused since the tech had reassured me a few times that they weren't even real contractions, so if they weren't even "real" or rather, that intense, why should the baby be showing signs of being affected if they're so mild?

I realize they were just trying to make sure nothing was wrong, that's their job and I can appreciate that. But I didn't like that things weren't making a lot of sense the more we talked. I finally said, "I'm going to go home right now. My sister is leaving for the airport in an hour, I need to get childcare lined up, get my husband home, and then I'll come back in if you really want me to."

She was totally bugged and was pretty condescending at this point and I believe she said something along the lines of, "I mean things could be fine, but something could be seriously wrong and they might have to deliver you today." I didn't want to put my baby at risk, but I also didn't have any bad feelings about his health either. Things felt totally normal, he was always like this in the mornings and I was pretty sure I was going into labor anyway, so I'd be back later that day, just in our own time. But again, if there was any risk to him, I didn't want to ignore it, so I asked some more questions about why they were concerned.

She said because his heart rate wasn't fluctuating enough, and because of that, it might mean his fluid levels are low or he might not be getting enough oxygen or some other unknown reason because he was so overdue. I asked her what time frame they usually gave women to do through the fetal monitoring before they became concerned because I'd only been there an hour, and I had my fluid levels checked two days earlier and they were excellent. I asked, sincerely, how I could have lost 7 cm of fluid in two days without noticing (because it would have to be at least that for them to be considered "low.") She said she wasn't sure, but we needed to do more in depth monitoring anyway.

After my last time telling her I was leaving but would come back, she already had called another dr for reinforcements--literally blocking my way out--to tell me they "strrrrongly suggest" I go to L&D because I was putting my baby at risk and I might even need a c-section. Fine. Fine, fine, fine. If I really am putting my baby at risk, I want to know, I just had a hard time believing them since their story had escalated and didn't seem to make a lot of sense.

I was crushed. I had all these wonderful visions of laboring at home, trying out new laboring techniques, and getting to the hospital in just enough time to have the baby, and hopefully with minimal tearing thanks to my new techniques! I just knew it wouldn't go that way if I was going over right then. I'd heard too many stories about women being told to go there when they'd just shown up for regular appointments and then getting induced or c-sectioned. I'd always felt so bad for them, I hated thinking about how unprepared they'd feel. And here I was about to join that crowd.

It was so not what I'd planned or wanted and I hated how they were talking to me, it all seemed so much like scare tactics in a way. I asked if I could go to the bathroom first (although I wish I would have just told them to assert myself a little:), and she hesitantly said yes. I tried to gain composure since I was on the verge of tears and when I came out, there was a lady right there ready to escort me. That bugged me too because I wanted to just go by myself, I wanted some part of this experience to be my own and my choices.

Labor and Delivery Dept.

Then they told me to sit in the wheel chair, which I now wish I would have refused because I think it would have helped pick up my contractions if I'd had walked (I heard you have to be in a wheelchair if they tell you to, but how are they going to make me? ah, my regrets...). Thankfully the lady that wheeled me away was the sweetest lady ever, she looked at me sweetly and sympathetically and tried to mix humor with compassion. I started to cry on the way over and she put her hand on my shoulder. I had felt so lonely, stressed about the situation at home (sister on way to airport, trying to get sitter for my kids during everyone's naptime, getting Josh there, etc), and crushed that my labor wasn't going as planned. I was so desperate for comfort that I reached up and held her hand the rest of the way. I called Josh and told him the latest update was that they were sending me to L&D and that they told me I might need a c-section, I was in tears.

When we got to the L&D entry doors there were three doctors/nurses waiting there. My nurse said it looked like we'd better move aside and wait until they took care of whoever they were waiting for. Then they go, "Are you the one bring the lady in for labor and delivery?" She confirmed and they told us they were just waiting for us. I thought that was strange. Then we walked in the doors, checked in, then there were three more doctors/nurses waiting in the hall by a room, and all waiting for us too. What the heck?

After my sweet, maternal nurse left me, I tried to build a rapport with the new nurse and after everyone left the room she told me that there were so many people ready for me because they called over warning us that the girl they were bringing was really worked up (I felt like saying, "They thought that was worked up?") and to be ready because I might "try to bolt"--yes, those words. And what exactly were they going to do if I did try? Handcuff me there? Chase the pregnant lady down the hall? I said, "No, I would've told them first if I was going to bolt." But how priceless would that video had been on Youtube if I had run and they chased.

I then met the popular blonde girl from Sweet Valley High. Or rather, my doctor. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against popular blonde girls, it just looked like that was her part she was playing. She looked like she was still in high school and had a plastered smile on her face as she basically told me I needed to have a c-section. Sure, we can do it right after you finish your science project on delivering babies.

I'm really trying to not be so cranky about this, but she fit the part so well, and not that of a doctor. Had she played a great doctor, I'd be quite impressed with the little prodigy, but after it took her 10-15 minutes of doing an ultrasound to determine if the baby's head was down, not lying, I decided she played a better high schooler role. Thankfully she called another doctor in to confirm that the head was indeed down. Or she could have asked me or the nurse in the room since we'd both seemed to have seen that image more times than she had.

Then they checked me and I was at a 4 (I was at a 3 two days earlier). She and the nurses sounded like they had a breakthrough moment and told me in a sort of excited tone, "It looks like you might be in labor!" And waited for my surprised face back, seriously, it was kind of funny, they just stared at me with their surprised face quietly waiting for mine. They must not have passed that part of the story on to this wing that I thought I was in labor and that's why I wanted to go home.

Since the baby's fluid levels were unsurprisingly still great, his heart rate was still steady and in their happy range (close to 160), they were stumped at what the problem was with him. They started talking about doing a c-section. I told them I'd like to avoid that if at all possible. I also told them I needed to call my husband. So I called and told him the brief version of what was going on, but couldn't tell him what I really thought was going on because my nurse never left the room. I think at that point I asked him to come to the hospital yet, but it wasn't urgent so to go home first to help with the kids and arrange a sitter.

Before Josh got there, however, Jennifer, my resident dr, decided the baby might need more fluid, so she told me I needed an IV. When I started asking questions and asked if I could just try to hydrate by drinking, she brought in her BFF with gold dangly earrings and the same forced smile--the kind that looks like it's really screaming at you because that's what it's trying not to do--I know because I pull that one on my kids sometimes. It was esp amusing since they were sharing frustrations with me and keeping the smile there, but it looked like a real effort. Anyway, she was just there as another voice to tell me they knew best, I assume. They eventually told me that I was risking my baby's health by not trying this because he was clearly in distress and we needed to push the fluids to him as fast as possible and drinking it took too long. Again, fine, whatever, if I'm really risking his health, lets hook me up.

My pretending I'm having an awesome time there smile. And I loved that it had a prego belly on the picture below and in the recovery beds there was no stomach. I don't think the artists had seen a post-baby stomach before, because I still looked nice and pregnant.
Nothing changed. They started talking about c-section and when I started asking more questions, like, "At what point do you determine that a c-section is necessary with this situation?" She said it's just the whole picture they look at, like his fluid levels and heart rate. I said, "Since his fluid levels are good and his heart rate is good and steady--not fluctuating, but nothing wrong, what's the time frame that you give before you're concerned and then decide a c-section?" Her answer sounded like she'd pulled it straight from a text book, something like, "We're concerned now. In this situation we know three things to do. Give you more oxygen, give you an IV, and..." I forget the last one, but apparently they'd done it and because none of them made a difference, her answer was that something was seriously wrong, enough that it warranted a c-section. When she left, Katie the nurse was left.

Took an intermission, it's Sunday now.

She was frustrated too, but at least made an effort. She goes, "Do you understand what they're saying here? You say you do, but you don't look like you do." I told her my understanding of the situation, which was correct, until I got to the point of not being too concerned about it enough for a c-section. If his heart rate wasn't dropping, I didn't see the need to do one yet since it had only been 1hr 40min and I thought they usually gave the test two hours for movement. She didn't know where I'd heard that and said that they were just trying to get a healthy baby out and they wanted to do a c-section as a preventative measure since something wasn't right but they didn't know what.

She went on to tell me how she'd gone into pre-mature labor and was getting different recommendations from drs and nurses about what to do (after they'd stopped it and put her on bed rest in the hospital), but that ultimately she had to decide what was right for her and her baby and opted to do a c-section. Good thing because the cord was wrapped around her baby's neck a couple of times and something else was wrong and the baby very well could have died if she'd waited and also not done a c-section and they had no idea that anything was really wrong beforehand. I'm very glad that she did what she did for her baby, but I felt like she was telling me the same thing could very well be wrong with my baby so I should do the c-section.

Then she told me, "Look, a lot of doctors would have sent you straight to a c-section as soon as you came over here, these drs are trying to be accommodating to you because you're [so against it]. (I think those were her words.) I've seen lots of these situations where someone has come in here like this and they've gotten a c-section and something was wrong. I've also seen times when they've had a c-section and nothing was wrong. But, there are times when women have not done a c-section and something was wrong and then we've had to do emergency c-sections. You just never know, so what we're trying to do is prevent anything bad from happening."

I appreciated her trying to help me understand the risks better, but I didn't think my baby was that at risk. So I asked her what the risks were with waiting it out and what other options I had and she said, "Well, they might, they might give you pitocin, but if they do that, and if the baby can't handle these contractions (not handle them?), then there's a bigger risk that he won't be able to handle the contractions when they get stronger with pitocin and his heart rate might drop, and if that happens, you might have to have an emergency c-section and if that happens there is a chance you'll have to have general anesthesia and if that happens you could aspirate on the food you had this morning. So we're trying to prevent all of that and the chaos by having a c-section now."

I loved how her scenario including all the worst case possibilities instead of a more realistic view. It sounded like she was suggesting that's what would happen instead of a really small chance. I figured at this point it was a real possibility, so I said, "Okay, can you tell me about c-sections and what happens?" I think this was a turning point for her and that she realized I was just trying to understand the whirlwind of events and not trying to be defiant.

She said to call Josh, get him here, because I needed to have this baby. So I called Josh again and I told him the last minute things we needed to have in our hospital bag and then he arranged for my friend to come babysit the girls (hallelujah she wasn't working that day!!!). I'd arranged for my other friend to take Tina to the airport earlier during all of this too--thank goodness for wonderful friends, I can't think of a better time to have great, selfless friends!

Josh got home in time for the trade off of everyone, then came to join me. When asking him later, he said this was the first phone call that sounded urgent from me. I remember now that he was about to get off the phone and I asked him to just stay on and talk to me, about anything even, I just didn't want to be alone and was trying to keep myself in control-ish. Then he arrived and I was so glad to have him there, finally, some relief. I love him I love him I love him. It was so comforting to have just anyone join me, esp my husband who had an equal interest in this. Someone else to help talk to the staff, to make decisions with. He had called our brother in law on the way over who is a doctor and told me quickly (the staff was right there) that he agreed it wasn't a good sign. I wish I could have called and asked him more qs, but there really wasn't a good way. It wasn't great news, but it was from someone I trusted, so we were grateful for it.

They told us that the attending told them to do all the interventions they could try first and then she'd come visit, but they'd have to wait to break my water because in case something went wrong fast, they needed to have an operating room open and it wouldn't be for 15 min. Then the attending doctor came in a little bit after and she was like a breath of fresh air. She was calm, seemed confident, but not arrogant (my only beef with the arrogance thing is that I think it clouds their judgment if they feel threatened). She said something like, "Lets take a look...(I was at a 5 then) You're here because we're concerned, but we'll break your water and then hopefully your contractions will pick up and you'll be able to deliver your baby (naturally?/vaginally? something like that)." After she left, Josh got excited and sounded relieved and I just remember him telling me, "Did you hear that? It sounds like there's still hope!" It was wonderful news, it was such a relief and coming from someone that sounded like they knew what they were talking about because they'd actually been delivering babies for more than a week.

My unnatural natural birth.

She left and Jennifer, the resident dr, broke my water around 12:25pm and holy cow, those contractions exploded like they'd been trapped in there. It's crazy how quickly your body can go from being in average discomfort from contractions to mind blowing pain. I had flashbacks to all of the natural books I'd read about how it doesn't have to be painful, some even said it was an orgasmic experience because of the same muscles doing the same thing. I had all sorts of things go through my mind that I wanted to tell those authors at that point. What I was experiencing was far far from anything remotely connected to a happy place--who were those nutcases writing that stuff, were they high?

Right after they had broken my water, the dr left and the nurse told me to lay on my left side. I assumed it because she needed me that way for some reason, but then she started puttering around. My contractions were crazy bad at that point and I'd hoped to labor in my favorite sitting position, so I asked Josh if I had to be laying down, I hated laying on my side during the contractions. So he asked Katie and she was like, "Oh no, you can get up, we just have people lay like that usually..." Just get up, sure, I couldn't move at that point. I was so bugged. Had I known there was no good reason I was lying down, I never would have, but my contractions were so intense any movement seemed impossible.

After they broke my water and the contractions picked up, his heart rate started fluctuating with every one. Josh pointed it out to the nurse who agreed it was a good sign and then Jennifer came in and said that actually, his heart rate was dropping mostly after the contraction, so that was a bad sign. Oh brother. She may have been right, but she may have been wrong too I decided.

After all heck broke out with my contractions after they broke my water is the part I really had an issue with this place. I don't know if any of them had been in a room where someone was trying to do a "natural" birth, but they sure seemed oblivious to the needs of someone trying. I regret not having a video of the whole experience for various, it would be a good one. It would explain a bit more why I was in so much pain. They had all sorts of people in the room and I know they weren't trying to bump the bed or make life miserable, but they were bumping the bed, it felt constantly, just because there were so many people in there and trying to move around checking stats, adjusting my IV, monitors, trying to move me around.

I've felt some intense pain in my life, I used to have a top four most painful experiences of my life, but this took the #1 spot (bumped the pushing/tearing of City's labor to #2, Hazel's labor pre-epidural to #3 and the Boston Marathon to #4 and kicked "Super Black Death" hike at Philmont (the name gives such great imagery doesn't it?) to #5). They also seemed to think I'd be able to think and talk during all this, even the transition phase as I was mumbling about wanting to throw up. They were asking questions, trying to talk to us about a c-section and who knows what else, but they were talking, which felt like they were hitting my head with a pan every word they spoke.

What I remember from this part of my misery was feeling like I needed to throw up, nobody seeming to hear me, at least not enough to get me a tray, feeling sharp, intense pain everywhere, the contractions not letting up, and lots of noise, movement, and chaos, feeling suffocated by the oxygen mask (I held it off my face during most peaks) and more of nobody hearing me when I'd ask for things like ice for my parched mouth (finally getting some 90 min after he was born) or help with counter-pressure because the drs were trying to talk to Josh during all this too so I didn't have his full attention.

Then they decided they wanted to get a more accurate read on his heart rate so they put a monitor on his head. And then suddenly there was a rush of drs and nurses flooding the room. It was a blur for me, and I just remember hearing lots of frantic talking, jerking the bed around (dropping it to get it ready to move me to c-section), I think talk of emergency c-section and something about his heart rate. The worst part of the labor happened when they told me to flip sides and said something about they know it's hard, but Move! I don't think they had a clue about knowing what it felt like, but I realize that was irrelevant and it was important to get a better read on the monitor, so they helped me move. Torture, torture.

Everyone sounded so nervous so I mumbled to Josh to tell them it was okay to do a c-section if we needed to. He didn't say anything, so I wasn't sure he heard me, esp since I figured Josh would be jumping to do the safest thing. I said it again, partially for selfish reasons so I could get the darn epidural and get that kid out. Josh eventually told them, but things settled quickly at that point. They said that when they switched monitors his heart rate flattened to zero, so there were 10 drs/nurses in there and they were about to take me to do an emergency c-section, but then they added another heart monitor and it went right back to 160. Josh told me he wasn't anxious to tell them to do a c-section because it looked way too coincidental that his heart rate flattened right when they switched monitors so it looked like they just didn't get it on his head correctly. He said it looked like the nurse noticed the coincidence too and suggested adding another monitor just to be sure and so they added another monitor and ta-da, his heart rate went right back to what it was. Nice. Thank goodness for the nurse.

At this point the pain was really unmanageable. It was heartbreaking how things were going, it wasn't at all the kind of environment where I could focus on breathing and my happy places. It was so overwhelming I didn't have time to think about anything I'd planned to try, and Josh was focused on everything else that was going on and the drs talking to him, so I just remembered the last thing I'd read in the hypno-birthing book about imagining I was in a field laying on 18 inches of strawberry mist and it going gently over me...I did that over and over and over. It wasn't relaxing in the least, and I didn't have the mental capacity to move from strawberry mist to orange, so I was stuck in strawberry mist agony trying to forget the pain. Guess you really do have to practice that stuff besides the morning of! However, it did give me something to think about, so I still think it helped.

But not enough, at which point I told Josh I wanted the epidural. I had told him beforehand to ask me to be sure I wanted it and to have them check me first and tell me how close I was, etc. So he asked me if I was sure I wanted it reminding me how we'd talked about it (ie, I wanted him to ask me). "Yes! I'm sure!" The nurse laughed and said she thought it sounded like I was sure. I felt bad for Josh because I'm sure he felt a little like a jerk asking me if I'm suuure I wanted it when I was in agony, but I'm glad it did, it bought me time. I heard someone saying to hurry and get the lady because things were moving fast--although nobody had checked me since they broke my water.

The anesthesiologist came in and they told me to sit up on the side of the bed (which really doesn't sound hard, but I was cemented to the bed I tell you!). I finally get to where they want me and they cleaned my back. Meanwhile I felt like I needed to push and mumbled something about it to the nurse. She didn't hear me, so I said I needed to be checked. She didn't hear me and Josh didn't either, but he chimed in anyway asking to check me first. They didn't seem to hear him either, or at least pay attention because then I heard the lady behind me directing someone else saying, "Now just put it rrrright there..." which sorta freaked me out knowing it was a teaching hospital. Josh quickly interrupted them asking to check me again, he later told me they were coming at me with the needle and had it right by my skin.

I'm surprised they didn't check me before they were going to give the epidural, because something could have gone seriously wrong if I had a sudden urge to push as she was administering it and she gave me the shot. Which almost happened. They had me lay on my back and the nurse checked me and goes, "There's his head!! Get a doctor in here! I am DELIVERING this baby, get a doctor in here!" I think she said something about holding his head in too, uh, I was trying to push him out, not in.

I think she said something about not pushing. I think that's such a ridiculous suggestion, next time you have explosive diarrhea try to hold that in. So I pushed, but controlled hoping I wouldn't tear as much. I heard Josh excited saying he could see his head and his hair and I had another flashback to a book saying at this point, the mom may be exhausted and discouraged and if she reaches down and touches her baby it might give her a boost in encouragement. I realized most of those books weren't written for me because I couldn't move, I didn't care a bit about touching his head, I just wanted him O-U-T!

With Felicity I was so in a zen state throughout the labor (also non-medicated) that I was basically silent through the whole labor (done almost entirely at home) until the pushing stage at which point I screamed bloody murder through the two pushes (a few minutes) of getting that girl out. And I mean scream like I didn't know it was possible to scream like that. But with this one, the pain was so bad and adding all the bumping and distractions, I remember making sounds of pain, lots of them I think, but not screaming by any means. I remembered hearing after City's birth to try not to scream because it could make the contractions worse. So when I started pushing his head out I just remembered trying to not tear in half down there and to do it as slow as I could and I didn't even feel like screaming this time. Which may have been because I knew the pain to expect so it wasn't a shock.

Jennifer hurried in as I was pushing his head out and then within that one push, his head came out. Then right after I felt the crazy urge to push again and so I pushed his shoulders and body out in my second push. It is the craziest feeling. I mean it hurts like the devil. Like. the. devil. But it's also weird, this giant thing is contorting around inside you and with all these strange shapes and corners to it slipping out as you tear open to let it come, it's so weird.

As I was pushing him out, the nurse pulled my gown down over my stomach and put a blanket on top, but I had wanted skin to skin, so in the middle of my second push, I lifted up my gown just in time to grab my baby and put him on my stomach. I don't even know what I was feeling, relief mostly. Yes, that was probably the overriding emotion. Relief he was fine, he was healthy, I didn't have to be induced or have the epidural, no c-section, and it was over. Well, he was out, the fun was far from over.

It was incredible to hold him there, all wet and slimy on me, safe with his mommy. I usually cringe a little at the thought of being all slimy and gross when I'm clean (I don't care once I'm dirty to get dirtier), but I had to tell myself before this that I could shower after--I know, pretty silly of me, just a thing I have. So I held him in all his slimy radiance and started to fall for him. It wasn't instant love per se, and not that it wasn't, it was just that my feelings were more of instant relief and gratitude for him at that point. I was still in a significant amount of pain, but oh how marvelous it was to finally have him.

He was quiet and bluish though, and that made me a little nervous. The nurses and dr weren't concerned at all--which I have to say was a shocker since they were concerned about everything else, but I guess it's just the unknown they were scared about which makes sense. They said it was normal and I'd remembered that it can take up to two minutes of them not crying and still be fine. It wasn't nearly that long, but my girls just screamed upon entering the world, so I expected that. I rubbed his back and just kept saying, "My baby, my baby, hi my baby, hi baby..." It was an overwhelming and euphoric experience finally holding him after everything that had gone down. He was my comfort too, I'd felt so alone through the experience, except for him. It was like we'd gone through all of this together, so he was my little buddy. He was perfect. He cried a little, got a great apgar score and then quieted down quickly and just laid on me. It was incredible. He was born 45 min after they broke my water.

I feel like I should say a word about my desire for a natural birth. I was induced with Hazel even though I'd hoped for a natural birth with her, but I was overdue, at a 3 and Josh was going to enter the bar exam for 3 days with no cell phone, so we opted to do it instead of risking not having him there. So I got an epidural, it didn't work at all, so they re-gave it to me and then I couldn't feel a darn thing. I had wanted to feel what it was like to give birth, I thought it was a miraculous event that I wanted to be a part of. I wanted to know how women for thousands of years have had children in every part of the world. I imagined Eve and Mary giving birth and thought it would be a neat connection to feel what they felt in bringing a child into the world. I was really disappointed with the whole induction/epidural bit because I felt like such a bystander one of the most important times in my life. I also tore, was cut, tore again, and was cut again--all the way to the back, yep, that was fun. I think it happened partially because I couldn't feel anything so I pushed that girl out fast. With City I labored at home until I was about to have that baby and got there just in time to push her out. It was an incredibly empowering and awesome experience, minus the pushing, so I wanted to do it again.

That all said, I'm not saying everyone should do it, I think everyone should read, learn, and decide how they'd like it to go, granted things don't always turn out that way, but a plan is a good idea. If it's having an epidural so you can fully enjoy the experience without the pain, I totally get that, it was was bliss to hold Hazel right after she was born because I didn't feel any pain. On the other hand, I couldn't hold City for 5 minutes after she was born because I hurt too bad and was shaking like a maniac, but the rest of the experience was so incredible I wanted it again. But this labor wasn't at all how I envisioned my "natural birth" going. While it was unmedicated, being hooked up to oxygen, an IV, two monitors on his head, two on my stomach, and tons of people in and out, talking and bumping, it was far from natural, which is why I asked for the epidural, this wasn't the experience I was looking for!

If only having the baby was the end of it. Then I had to push that darn placenta out and then came the stitching and cleaning out blood clots. Eww you say, yep, lots of ew with childbirth. As she started to go to town rebuilding me down there, they took our baby boy (ahh...so fun to say that!) to weigh and measure him. He was 9lb 7.7ounces and 20.5 inches. He looked so perfect and round, no cone head like our poor girls. He was so stinkin cute, I was falling in love so fast.

I asked Josh to come back from where the baby was to be with me because she was shooting me up down there and it hurt like crazy. I can't remember if she stitched or cleaned out my clots first, but it was a circus-o-fun. She kept reaching her arm up me to clean out clots and went on about how many I had. Oh my word, this was a close second to the labor pain. She kept digging and scrapping around in there. I was sure Josh's hand would be covered in bruises after all this, I was gripping him like a mad woman. I was pushing his hand with all my strength with him pushing back, I don't know why, but it felt good to release some force to hold in my screaming. I wish Josh had gotten a picture of that. But this comes close.

I believe if you put him in a bed, added some hair and a baby on his stomach, it would be exactly what I looked like that. I actually had this picture flash to my mind during the whole thing, just silently screaming. And it was only silent because I was holding my baby on my stomach which was a good reminder to try to be calm and to not squeeze him. If I'm making it sound like it took a long time, it did, 1hr 30min to be exact of being shot up with several needles in my hoo ha, dug around with the drs arm up there for who knows how long and getting stitched up with the meds worn off. Yeah, so this was my face for 90 min unless Josh was taking a picture of me, I shut my trap and made a controlled grimace.

My confidence in dr Jennifer continued to wane as she did this. She convinced me this had to be one of her first, if not the first, delivery. She kept thinking she was done cleaning me out, finally asking for the attending dr to check me. Still more to clean out apparently, so back in. And for saying it was only a 2nd degree tear, it sure took a long time to do.

Josh pointed out that to look on the bright side he was glad she was at least trying to take her time and do a good job instead of hurrying through it. I said to him later, "You thought she was competent?" And he said no, he was just glad she was trying to do a good job by taking her time. Half the time she'd put her needle in I'd let a yelp of pain out and she was like, "You feel that? Hm, I've given you a lot of medication already, you shouldn't feel that." Well I did, so give me some more. So she kept giving me shots of numbing stuff, but it wasn't very effective. During the baby's circumcision, we learned that the numbing meds wear off after 15 minutes. And then it all made sense. Oh, I just looked her up on Kaiser's website and guess what? She was a 1st year resident. Go figure.

Here's a lovely shot of me getting stitched or dug out. No really, I think it's quite lovely for what's happening, it's not my "scream" shot. I was using my imagery/focus stuff here.

Throughout it all, they kept asking me if I wanted some meds. They suggested a few different kinds I think, including morphine, but I didn't know what the different effects would have on nursing, so I just asked if she was almost done and she kept saying yes. I'm sure she believed this, it's like when I tell Josh I'm almost done writing this and I really believe it, but then it takes hours :). Anyway, I didn't take any meds during this part mostly because I was ignorant about their effects and I didn't think it would take much longer, so I said no thanks. Holy cow though, I should have taken something though, even Ibuprofen or something. Part of me also thought she might pick up the pace if she knew I was in pain. Guess not.

Oh, the pain! Little baby got a few bruises on his way out too, they guess from my pelvic bone. His journey doesn't sound very fun either, poor guy.

And here you all probably thought when you saw this the first time, "What a nice picture!" Not, "She's smiling for a picture while they're giving her shots down there."

Josh editing out my face-o-pain.

Finally she finished up the torture session and then there were three nurses who started going, "Oh my gosh, look at him! It's just the like Youtube video!" And more of the same, I looked and the baby had totally wiggled himself up to my breast and had started to find my nipple to nurse. Sorry, I hate the word nipple as much as the next person, but it was soo soo soo cool I have to share. With Hazel the nurse was like, "Okay, put them on to nurse now." Which had always bugged me because the room was full of people right after because it was a shift change and I wanted to try to nursing for the first time in more private and intimate situation.

This was so amazing because it was on his own time. It was like the first natural thing about this whole experience. Since it had taken the dr so long to get Humpty Dumpty back together again, I hadn't noticed the baby making his way to my breast and by the time she was done he'd gotten there, so in a way I should be grateful it took so long because I don't think I would have thought to let him try to get there alone. By this point, I liked the nurses because Katie was the one who noticed the monitor slip and prevented the c-section and she seemed competent and then two others had joined her and they were just really nice and supportive after I had the baby telling me how awesome and tough I was, so I liked them :). And it was neat to share the experience with people that thought it was cool.

And then he nursed like a champ. It was shocking, I'd struggled with the other two a lot, and it was like a gift for all the bad things that had happened, I'd gotten this sweet tempered baby that even nursed well. He just cried briefly for a minute after he came out but then just laid on my stomach quietly until he nursed and has had the same excellent disposition since. He was just so chill in the womb they thought something was wrong, but that's just him we decided. Oh, and speaking of, we'd tried to make friends with the dr and nurses through all this because we knew that was the best way to get them to work with us and after he was delivered they all told us that nothing at all had been wrong and that it looks like I just had such a fast labor that that's how he handled it. It was validating to hear that. And seeing our happy little man now makes me think he just didn't see a good reason to get worked up about it and stayed nice and steady, just too steady for them. He's so awesome, I love him!

And a little note of irony: my little sister had been with us a FULL three weeks to help and my mom came back for over two weeks after the baby was born, but there was a 6 hour window of time in between when neither would be there. Tina's flight left at 12:50pm, so she left at 11:30 and my mom was driving like a mad woman from Ohio and got there at 5:30pm, and I had him at 1:06 (I think?). And I had even told my friends Wednesday night that I just knew that he'd come in that window. But I didn't know how psychic I really was!

In the end I have to give it to my dr and nurses for doing what they thought was best. I know I didn't agree with them, but they were doing what they knew to do and ultimately we got the healthy baby out of it.

We waited a few hours before calling anyone. It took forever to fix me up down there and then nursing him took some time, but I also wasn't up to talking to anyone for a while. I was so spent and had different emotions I was trying to sort. Here is just on the first phone call to his parents.

After each of the girls, Josh went out and got me Jack in the Box, so we were pretty happy there was one right around the corner. I couldn't let that giant empty hole in my stomach go empty, just think how much room I had to eat now!

The girls first meeting him was really sweet. My mom brought them over shortly after she arrived. They had both been crazy into babies so we figured they'd go nuts over him, but it being our own baby and seeing me in the hospital and the crazy day of different people switching off without me ever saying goodbye I think was a bit much for them to process. Felicity was pretty uncertain the first day but much more comfortable the second day.

Hazel did great. She was a tiny bit apprehensive about how to treat him, but she was excited and proud.

My awesome mom who drove thousands of miles in a couple of days to get there for us and still had energy left over.

I don't know either, but it's cute. I love that City is still trying to figure him out.

The baby was super alert for being a newborn which was really fun.
First family picture with baby boy.
My mom bought out the pasta market for us the second night. It's sooo good to have mom around! Oh, and since I wasn't there to get the hospital bag together I didn't have face wash. I think that's the first time in close to 10 years I haven't washed my face after wearing makeup and I learned a neat trick--my eye make up sort of stays put, yay!
Checking him out.

They are so adorable, aren't they? And that's why we want more:).

Sale!

2011-02-18T12:07:00.000-08:00

I interrupt my birth story to announce an urgent message:

As I mentioned in a previous post, I love The Body Shop products. They have great scents, effective skin care, and products that really work and make you feel like you're in a spa. Or so I'd assume, never been in one, but I feel like it when I use their stuff!

So you can see why I was elated to get the email telling me that my favorite hand cream is on sale through the weekend from $18.50 to $10. It's the Hemp Hand Protector (and although I wasn't so sure about the whole "hemp" thing when I discovered this line in middle school, I'm now pretty sure that you can't get high off of it despite what other middle schoolers all wanted to believe).

When Josh and I were headed on a trip I realized I didn't have any hand lotion but our gate was right next to The Body Shop. I was excited to have a reason to buy their usually pricey stuff, but was even more thrilled that this hand lotion was on sale. I was going to buy their 1 ounce tube since that was $10 and this 3.3 ounce one was almost $20, but she said they were both $10, sale ending that day. And while I think the lotion stinks (Josh loves it though), it works like smearing butter on your hands without wanting to lick them or have greasy fingers afterwards.

And voila, after keeping tabs on this stuff, I got an email that it was on sale again! I rushed to the mall to pick up a couple of tubes only to find in my inbox today that there is also FREE SHIPPING on ANY item through Monday!!! So I ordered some for my dad too who always has dry hands.

Go get yourself some soft, smooth hands now. Enjoy!

Birth Story, Part 2

2011-02-12T16:05:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the wait. I have two reasons why I haven't written yet.

1. I feel like I'm going to sound a bit like a Sweet 16 girl on MTV where daddy's little girl gets a BMW for her birthday but she's all upset that she didn't get a huge party with it, i.e., I got the baby but not the experience I wanted. That's not the case, I am totally grateful for my healthy baby, but if written wrongly or read in the wrong mood, it might sound that way, so I've been reluctant to share.

2. It's taken a while to get to the point where I can write it because it still makes me sad to think about it. Sounds dramatic I know, esp because to some this birth experience would be no big deal. I'll try to make more sense of it to you at the end.

More of the story

Friday morning I woke with contractions. They were regular, and probably every 10 minutes, but really mild. I had a strong feeling he'd be coming that day, but not right away, so I went to Kaiser for a "routine fetal monitoring." Something my dr said I'd have to do "twice" in her serious tone (still trying to convince me making it sound like a big hassle). My friend told me how when she went in for that it was a little traumatic because they scared her making it sound like things were a big deal when they ended up not being. She said she was there for a couple of hours and crying. I was so glad she'd told me that beforehand so I knew that was a possibility. I guess that's part of why I'm going to share my story, in case any of you have a similar one hit you and if this helps you mentally prepare. That said, I expected nothing to go wrong, esp since I'd just gone in for my visit two days earlier.

It was a little uncomfortable driving due to the contractions that were getting closer but figured it would only be 20 minutes and I could come back home to labor for real. I was glad my appt was at 9am because my sister had to leave for the airport at 11:30 to go back to Utah. I was planning to take her to the car shop on the way to the airport because her car broke down while she was here and she had to go sign some papers to kiss her car goodbye.

I got to my appointment at 9am and they asked if I'd eaten in the past 30 minutes. Nobody had told me to do this, but I'd eaten just about 30 min ago, so they said that should be fine, food just helps the baby get moving. Oh great I was thinking, this kid sleeps every morning, I wish I'd known what this was all about and I would have scheduled it for the afternoon.

So I sit down in a cushy little chair, grabbed a Hypnobirthing book my friend dropped off the night before, and then a nice technician strapped the monitors on. She said his heart rate should be between 110-160 and he was a steady 160. All too steady apparently. She said they wanted to see his heart rate go up and down to show that he's moving and active. I told her he was always still in the mornings, so she gave me some juice and a cracker, put a little vibrator thing on my stomach for a few seconds, but he stayed steady. At first I thought

Time was a tickin and the contractions were now between 3-5 min apart, I can't remember which (I wish I'd kept the print out!), but they were even. They were still mild, but I was getting nervous about driving myself home even though I live close. I also needed to get home to get my sister to the airport, but obviously I wasn't up to driving her at this point, so I had texted a friend asking if she could. I also texted another friend asking if she could come over and help out with my kids for the next couple of hours once I got home since I figured I'd be in labor (didn't think it would be serious labor for a while).

I told the tech that my contractions were picking up and wondered how long this would take. She looked at them and assured me they weren't real contractions, real ones would have to be 1. very painful, 2. Much higher "hills" on the monitoring chart and 3., can't remember and don't care, but intuition and experience weren't on her list. Then she left.

I flipped through the book some more and skipped to the important parts trying to cram for any last minute tips on getting through the nasty parts. I read about the "rainbow" technique where you visualize you're in a field laying on a foot and a half of mist. You first visualize it's strawberry colored, slowly drifting over your head, relaxing your head, then your shoulders, arms, etc., relaxing every part of you that it touches. Then you do it again in orange, then yellow, etc. It was actually really relaxing, but then I was brought back to reality and noticed the time ticking away. I sort of shoved my stomach around with some jiggling trying to get that kid to move and hallelujah, he moved! The tech was happy with that, but needed him to move twice before she could let me go.

Josh was at work, so I called him and let him know what was going on. I guess I didn't explain that I really thought I was in (pre) labor because he said something about wondering if I should wait to use my friends until I really needed them. I was irritated because I knew what I was feeling and knew I'd need help, but poor Josh didn't know what I was feeling contraction/labor wise. When I talked to him later he had no idea what was going on with the contractions and how quickly things were happening. I realized I had been trying to be quiet and quick in what I said to him so the tech lady wouldn't hear me, oops. So that added to my beginning annoyed mood of feeling like people weren't listening (even if that wasn't his fault and just a mis-communication, I didn't take time to consider that in my increasingly anxious mind).

My tech came back and I told her that I have two kids (trying to let her know that I knew what real contractions were in a nice way), she didn't know that. I told her I thought I was in labor and was nervous that I wouldn't be able to drive home if I didn't leave soon and also my sister was leaving for the airport soon and needed to get home to stay with my kids, etc. I asked her if I could just leave (why did I ask?) and come back tomorrow if I didn't have the baby that day.

Somewhere in that conversation she said something about them not being real contractions again but either way I told her I needed to get going. She said she'd go ask the doctor to look at his chart and see if it was good enough for her with just his one movement. She came back in with the doctor and the doctor told me I needed to go to labor and delivery.

And sorry to drop off again, but the baby is in need and then we're off to get my sister at the airport (she's back! but just for a couple of days before my mom and her take off for a road trip). Final installment soon...

Birth Story, Part 1

2011-02-04T14:02:00.000-08:00

There are few things in my life that will compare to the births of my babies. They are monumental events that will outshine most others in significance throughout my life. From the time I was a kid I planned to be a mother, not that I was thinking of the pregnancy or birth at that age, thank goodness really. If I had any clue what was involved...shoot, it's still hard to sign up for the process. All those months of being sick, it's like I lose a year of my life in a way, but then I'm rewarded with a baby. The catch is that the baby has to get out of my body one way or another and no way is an easy way. And that's what this story is about, the outing of the baby.

It's hard to talk about this story, it was so unpleasant, so unlike how I'd envisioned it happening. Before I got married, my dad talked to Josh and me about some good marriage counsel. The best thing I can remember from the talk that's helped me a lot is the concept of "Expectation Violation." When we go into situations with certain expectations and those expectations are violated, we can feel really let down. In marriage the idea is to not have these expectations without your spouse being in on it or you can feel really let down, disappointed, frustrated, etc., with the other and the other might have no clue if they didn't know your original expectation.

I think you've got it.

I discovered that I had some expectations about how this birth would go and almost all of them were violated. That doesn't mean I'm blaming all sorts of people for violating them (just a few... :), it was just that I thought I'd covered alternative ways the birth might happen in my mind, coming to grips with those, and then ending up with a whole different scenario than anything I'd planned. It's been an emotional ride and even though it's all over and I have my perfect baby, I'm still quietly fighting battles over it and trying to move on.

Our Story

On Jan 20, his due date, I had a drs appointment. My doctor tried to set up an induction for the week after and when I said I'd rather not be induced then she gave me a long talking to about nothing good happening after 41 weeks. I told my doctor I thought some women had babies earlier and later than their "due date" and that was just how their bodies worked. She proceeded to tell me that was wrong and that nothing good happens after 41 weeks, blah blah blah, we'll set you up for an induction...It was hard, but I told her I'd rather wait the full two weeks after his due date. She was very reluctant, but what could she do.

Six days later I went in for my 41 week check up. I dreaded going in because I knew she'd pressure me again, and she did. She shared her disapproval of my decision to wait to be induced and said that I was "risking killing my baby" if I let him go too far overdue. Yeah, I'll be filling out a comment card on that. Side note: my mom's first 4 kids were a full two weeks overdue and my little sister was 4 weeks overdue (even though based on the original due date it was 6 weeks over). She made a drawn out speech about the risks of waiting again (I was 6 days over mind you, not a month) and how she'd need to check his fluid levels and if they were below 5 cm, they'd have to induce me right away and also check his placenta and some other things.

She seemed almost disappointed when I had 13 cm of fluid, perfect heartbeat and great looking placenta (even though they really look gross in real life of course:). She told me I'd have to be scheduled for 2 fetal monitoring sessions the next week and I said that was fine, not that she was asking.

Tina (my sister) and I went on 3 mile walks for the three days in a row after my doctor scared me into wanting to go into labor sooner than later so I wouldn't have to be induced. Thursday night, a week over, Tina babysat for us while we went to The Melting Pot and used a gift certificate we got from my other sister for Christmas. I'd been having a lot more contractions since our walk and they continued through dinner. Ahh, that was a good dinner too. Anyway, I had a feeling this was the beginning. I didn't think he'd come that night, but the next day was looking probable.

Wednesday night I was at a baby shower and was telling some friends that my little sister had been in town almost three weeks to help out and was leaving Friday morning at 12:50 (leaving the house at 11:30) and my mom, who was driving like a speed demon (I'm sure) all the way from Ohio, was arriving at 5:30pm that day and would stay to help for a while. I told them that I just knew that the baby would come in that window of time, it was a perfectly unlikely time that I had a feeling would be THE time.

And now I need to go to Target to get out of my house before it starts feeling like a prison, so this will be continued later!

And His Real Name Is...

2011-01-31T14:41:00.000-08:00

You all have given me some great laughs, but mostly surprise! I hope you didn't really think I'd ruin my kids life with that name and were all just being nice and secretly hoping I was joking. Too nice! From here on out, you have full permission to speak your mind if I am ever about to do something as crazy as name my child Gaylord, however perfect I tell you it is, seriously, full permission! It was so funny reading the responses almost all entirely avoiding his name, almost painful because I realized some of you must really believe it and were just trying to think of something nice to say.

You can all breathe a sigh of relief though, our son is not Gaylord, but it looks like I made a compelling argument because after almost 200 views on this, my sister is the only one that said anything about his name hopefully being a joke (which I temporarily deleted as to not let anyone else on). My dad also called me to talk to me about it and Josh's dad emailed us with the same concerns. I have to say, I've never felt so loved by our dads! (and you too Jill:).

My dad called as soon as he read my entry and my mom answered, we still hadn't arrived from the hospital. He asked to stay on the phone until I got there because he just wanted to say hi for a minute. Apparently he wouldn't tell my mom why he wanted to talk to me because he didn't want her to tell him to not say anything. She knew how long we'd deliberated about a name and he was afraid she'd try to talk him out of it. He told me he thought it was usually best to not intervene in our decisions but if there was ever a time for a grandfather to intervene, this was it. It was so priceless, I loved getting my dad who is the ultimate prankster.

Shortly after, Josh checked his email and his response to the email was even better. He goes, "Oh Afton! Oh no, my Dad doesn't know it's a joke...he is trying to be so careful in his email..." He hurried to call him because he was sure he was causing his dad serious stress. I thought it was awesome, my joke worked! Josh had agreed to it because he was sure nobody would believe it, but we fooled even our families.

Josh was relieved his dad was laughing about it after he told him it was a joke and I had to jump on to enjoy a good laugh myself. His dad and mom were with his aunt and uncle and some other family members and we managed to add some great excitement to their night. I told him I figured it had been a rotten enough experience at the hospital that we could at least have some fun with everyone at the end of it. He was a great sport about it.

And if nothing else, we figured even if nobody would have originally liked his name for whatever reason, they'll be so relieved that they'll think they LOVE the real one whether or not they would have!

Drum roll please...

We are happy to announce the real name of our perfect new son, Rhett Southam Parker.

We both love the name Rhett and Southam is my maiden name. I have no brothers, and I have a lot of pride in my maiden name, so we thought it would be nice to at least pass the name down to our son who will now get to carry both sides of his family name. I just realized I'm kind of the same, I have names of both of my grandmothers and I've always loved the connection to both sides.

The rest of the story I posted was true, we were waiting at the hospital extra hours because we hadn't found a middle name. Josh was on the internet searching ideas and while we had a few, none were great. We wanted something meaningful or a little fun and descriptive. We tried finding a name that sort of meant jokester or anticipation since he had us and the doctors all in suspense for a while and ended up being perfectly fine as if it was all a big joke to him. Then we finally decided on Southam and I realized you know what? Southams are pretty big pranksters themselves, so that fits just fine.

And we think the whole name fits him just perfectly.

Q: I'm dying to know, did you think it was a joke?
Q: Are you relieved?

He's HERE!!!

2011-01-30T14:08:00.000-08:00

We are just about to check out of the hospital, so here is a quick update.

After a less than ideal, drama filled morning, we had a healthy, super awesome baby boy born Jan 28 at 1:06pm. He's a lightweight at 9lb 7.7 oz and 20.5 inches.

As for the grand reveal of his secretive name? Well, we've been going at the decision making process for months and months and seriously, up to this very last minute and haven't wanted a lot of input because we didn't want the feedback to affect our decision.

We've been putting off the anxious birth certificate staff the past few days and as I hear their urgency in choosing a name, I've been tempting to tell them, "Trust me, I want to have his name decided more than you do." We are the last people on their list to visit today before they leave.

We wanted to have a name that had meaning and I also thought it would be cool to have a name that had a "happy" name in it because of our girls both having one, "Bliss" and "Felicity"--and I was originally going to be named Merry Afton (ended up being Marilu Afton).

After much deliberation, we finally decided on Gaylord Parker. It's perfect because my mom's maiden name is Gayman and well, gay means happy too of course. Win win.

Better jet, more details on birth later. Yay!

Overdue

2011-01-27T17:10:00.000-08:00

Written a few days ago...

I usually don't like things that are overdue.

Milk: yuck.

Books: painful (not so much in TX where we used to live--$.05 a day!!! It was like they were begging me to take my time, and I did. Here? $.30 a day!!!!! Not so awesome when you have 24 books out...).

Pregnancy: complicated.

But not terrible. For me, it's perfect. I'd love my babies to stay put for a week or two, it's like the snooze button for me. When you have that due date and the baby hasn't arrived yet, it's awesome--more time than I planned on and I can always use more time, esp before a baby!!! I love the luxury of this extra time, esp since I've been so frantically trying to get things done so my urgent things are done, so now it's wish-list finish time and it's been so fun.

Not so much the case with Josh though, or rather his job schedule.

Hazel.

She was overdue and he had his bar exam coming up--that lasted 3 days--and I wouldn't be able to get in touch with him during it. So despite my loathing of being induced, I was.

Felicity.

I had both of my parents with us and my two sisters since it was Christmas time, so it was really fun. I was just doing my best to hold that girl in until her due date (Dec 27) so she wasn't born on Christmas or the day after (a little space would be nice right?). I don't remember what he had coming up, but there was something. It ended up being canceled because my parents were able to take a spontaneous mini vaca to San Antonio since they didn't need to be with us the whole time.

Baby boy.

Josh is supposed to fly out Monday morning through Thursday of next week. Granted, I'll have family here to help, but you know, it sorta stinks to have to worry about his work schedule interfering with EACH kid. And he commented last night on how crazy that is since he doesn't travel all the time, it's just terrible coincidences. (Edit--since I wrote this he has been able to cancel his trip. Bummer is it was supposed to be really good experience and kind of cool.)

And for me, well, the only down side of being overdue is the grief I hear from the doctor about being induced. So far, so good though.

Q: Do you mind being overdue?
Q: What things do you like and dislike that are overdue?